November 29, 2007
"The Girls Go On Go-See Adventures "
Previously on "America's Next Top Model," Wenchie came terrifyingly close to losing her favorite, Heather, while Tyra and Husband fought a cage match over their shared favorite, Chantal.
Here's my predictions for this show. I want Heather to win, but I think it'll be Chantal, and I think Saleisha is going home this episode.
Bianca asks Heather what she was thinking when she was in the Bottom Two because she wants to keep savoring the moment from every angle possible. Chantal interviews that Heather should have gone home instead of Lisa.
Jenah's all pissy because she thinks that the competition has come down to a personality contest, and she, not having one, is at a disadvantage.
Tyra Mail! Go-sees.
The girls start at PT Models Shanghai with Susan Yung. PT is my shorthand for paper towels on my shopping lists.
Heather is worried because she knows that she doesn't make good first impressions. Jesus, does Jenah ever brush her hair?
The girls get a translator, a chauffered car and six hours to see five designers.
The first designer thinks that Sal is "so dull." Ha!
Chantal livens things up by wearing hot pink panties -- a definite modeling no-no. The designer would book her for print but not for the catwalk.
Heather wins this episode's quotable quote: "The map's in Chinese. It's all Greek to me." Two hours later, she still can't find her first go-see. When she finally gets there, she hears that she needs to work on her walk and her eye contact.
Jenah is flippant about a designer not liking her. She's all, "Oh, well, there's always the next one."
Then, it's party time. Sal is sitting outside one designer's studio as Bianca finishes up inside. Bi then asks Sal where the next designer is, and although Sal knows that it's right upstairs, she tells Bi that she doesn't know! HAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! That's called KARMA, bitch! SUCK ON IT!
Bianca interviews, "You bitch." And really, where does she get off? If their places were reversed, Bianca would have done the same damn thing.
Chantal sees Sal totally kissing ass and interviews about it rudely, and then turns around and does the same thing. Hypocrite.
Heather can't find her second go-see, so not wanting to be late, she decides to go back to the agency, but she can't find her driver. Shanghai traffic is, apparently, even more insane than New York or Chicago. But Sal makes it back with fifteen minutes to spare, and Bianca sneaks in under the wire.
Jenah is fifteen minutes late, Chantal is twenty, and Heather is forty. They are disqualified from the challenge. Susan Yang later meets the girls at a beautiful, harbor-side restaurant to announce the winner. To my surprise -- and chagrin -- it's Bianca, whose face floats by on a huge billboard barge ad for the 2008 Olympics.
Tyra Mail! But I didn't hear it because Dick and I were talking about Great Danes. Don't ask.
The girls arrive in some Chinese garden with beautiful bridges and lots of noisy bugs. Nigel is the photographer. The challenge is to stand-out amoung all the lions and dragons and crap around them.
Jenah immediately pisses off Nigel with an annoying immitation of him, to his face. Jeez, someone is always pissing off Nigel, aren't they? Maybe he's just too sensitive.
Jenah doesn't have her "usual energy" for the shoot and is upset not to receive any good feedback afterwards. In sharp contrast is Sal, who Jay has never seen this confident.
Bianca is looking mean, surprise surprise. Chantal looks too "showgirl," but she takes the critique seriously and does much better.
Heather decides that she's not going to overthink the shoot. Jay complains that she's second guessing herself. During her shoot, Nigel has to yell at the "peanut gallery" to quiet down, which probably wasn't helping Heather much.
Tyra Mail! Panel. Jenah is worried; Bianca is not. Susan Yang guest stars at panel, where Tyra informs the girls that only four of them will be going to Bejing.
Chantal was 20 minutes late for the challenge and was wearing taboo pink panties instead of beige. Faux pas! But Nigel says she was fun to shoot, and her picture is "kick-ass."
Bianca is the winner of the go-see challenge, and two of the three designers she saw booked her for work. In her photo, her body is great, but her face is asleep. Nigel says her movements aren't fluid, and she needs to relax.
Jenah was 15 minutes late for the challenge. The designers said she has a good walk but needs to be more personable and less messy in person. Her photo is great, but her sense of humor comes off as arrogant, which is off-putting. Why is this the first time we're hearing of this? She must be going home this week.
Sal has a good personality and is Nigel's favorite. The judges see a commercial girl who is finally looking high fashion.
Heather was 40 minutes late for the challenge, at which the judges all gasp in horror. Miss J says she needs a Top Model Ass-Whupping to get her walk in shape. Her photos are consistantly brilliant and sexy, but she's stiff in person.
Deliberations!
Bianca has to work too hard for a good pose. Heather looks great but can't communicate. Sal has great energy. Chantal needs more confidense. Jenah is good, but they're afraid of her personality, which is weird because Bianca is a much bigger bitch.
The girls are called back into the room, and Tyra calls Sal, Bianca and Chantal. Jenah and Heather are the Bottom Two. They approach Tyra holding hands, which is sweet.
Tyra tells them that they have the strongest photos of the five girls remaining, but they're not good communicators. Jenah gets her photo. Bianca smiles a bit, and I just want to slap that evil mouth right off her face.
Jenah is practically sobbing, and at first I think it's out of relief, but then I think it's because she feels so bad for Heather. Heather hugs all the girls, even Bianca because, unlike us, she doesn't know all the crappy stuff she's been saying about Heather behind her back. Poor Heather.
Heather interviews that she thought her autism would be too big of a problem to do well in the competition, but that she learned a lot while she was there, expecially about the kindness of others. "The experience is more than a prize," she says, which is pretty profound. All in all, Best Departing Speech Ever.
My new prediction: Sal and Chantal will be the Final Two.
Next week: Tyra is their photographer for a shoot at The Great Wall. Bianca fucks over Jenah, and I get my hopes up that the judges are FINALLY going to see what a harpie Bianca is.
Comments
I love Tyra.
Inglewood.
Represent.
Posted by: Kelly Garrett, Jr. at November 29, 2007 01:46 PM