December 28, 2007
My Dinner with Kelly
First, let me clarify -- Kelly is a dude. Kelly Garrett is just his chosen commenter name because he's a big 'mo and loves Charlie's Angels.
Because Kelly is a tree-hugging, hippie socialist, we went to Hillary's home town and dined at the incomparable Pickwick Restaurant. Home of the "Hillary Burger." And no, that's not a euphemism for anything.
Surprisingly, he orderd the BBQ beef. I say surprisingly because he normally only eats smoothies and veggies and couscous that he makes for himself. Yes, he lives in L.A., which means that his smoothies don't include Hershey's syrup and Cool Whip. Freak.
Kelly is quite the cook, making all his own food, and soon we were talking about organic this and fresh that. Can you believe I had dinner with someone from L.A. and didn't once punch him in the face? Not once!
He had total sand in his vagina over the fact that his mom, K, had made a casserole for Christmas Eve dinner.
PW: So did I!
KG: That's just so wrong! I haven't eaten a casserole in twelve years!
PW: Why is that wrong? Turkeys are a pain in the ass.
KG: First of all, no one should ever, EVER cook with onion soup mix and store-bought French dressing.
PW: Did her casserole also have chicken and cranberry sauce?
KG: Yes.
PW: I made the same one!
KG: Oh, my God.
Fearing retribution from the L.A. Food Gods upon his return to The Land of Protruding Collar Bones, Kelly shopped for and cooked dinner on Christmas Day.
KG: I was walking around Jewel going, Where the fuck are the dried cranberries? Finally I found them when I realized that they were in a package labeled Craisins! They can't call them cranberries, or no one in the midwest would eat them!
PW: Dude, cranberries are waaaaaaaay too exotic. Unless, of course, they are jellied and canned, the way God intended.
You can bet your ass that God eats casseroles and jellied cranberries. Because God is Lutheran. And because, bananas aside, casseroles are nature's most perfect food. All the food groups in one pan, mixed with Miricle Whip and topped with crushed Ritz crackers! What could be better???
Next time you're in town, Kelly, c'mon over, and I'll prepare some nice homemade macaroni and cheese. It's fabulous. You do like Velveeta, right?
Comments
Wow! I made the same chicken casserole for Christmas day dinner! Also made a lovely baked corn casserole too.
BTW Wenchie, I had some leftover homemade Mac&Cheese Kelly made for Christmas ... it was to DIE for! Snippy Bitch
Posted by: Snippy Bitch at December 29, 2007 01:27 PM
Tater Tot casserole is still one of my favorites. Maybe I should make it some time.....
I love canned cranberries - but only if you open the lid and slide it on to a plate so all the ridges are undisturbed. There's something so pure about it.
Posted by: Hope at January 3, 2008 04:01 PM