December 19, 2007
Nicki, I Thought of You
Monday, when I got home from work, there was a pidgeon sitting on my front step.
My friends. Horrified, aghast, repulsed, distraught -- none of these words can convey my feelings upon seeing a feral bird that close up, snuggling its disease-infested body against my dwelling.
Yesterday morning, the bird was gone when I left the house. I don't know where it went. Perhaps it was eaten by the coyote that frequents our neighborhood. Perhaps it crawled off to die in an area that was less exposed. I don't really care. I was just glad it was gone.
But yesterday, arriving home from work, I again spotted the offending animal, sitting in the same spot on my front step. My flesh actually crawled off my body, to O'Hare, and boarded a plane. I believe it's in Atlanta, Georgia, right now. I hope it's getting a tan.
People, that bird was sick and had chosen my front step on which to die. I can't imagine why. Perhaps it saw the slobbering mutts in the window and the myriad of flowers in the garden and thought, Ah, here is a lover of nature. Surely this house's inhabitants will take me inside and at least make my final hours warm and comfortable.
Fat fucking chance, Bird Flu! I waited until Husband came home and demanded that he deposit the thing in the garbage. Of course, that means I won't be touching him for a few days, but that's to be expected. I'm not going to risk getting The Black Plague. Especially not right before Christmas.
I'll bet you're wondering, Why did this incident make her think of Nicki? That seems rather insulting to such a lovely and eloquent person as Nicki.
That's because I know that Nicki shares my bird aversion and would have exactly the same reaction as I did: Do I get Husband to pitch the bird, or do we just sell the damn house and move?
Comments
Geeze ... This spring I had a pidgeon mommie & daddy nest in a flowerpot on by balcony. They had 3 babies. It was really interesting. The parents took turns sitting on the eggs, 12 hours on and 12 off. I know that because, being unemployed, I saw them come & go.
Don't get me wrong, the area around that flowerpot was disgusting. Once the babies took wing, I put on rubber gloves and took that flowerpot to the trash! I then got lysol and scrubbed down everything on the balcony,... I'm not nuts! ick sb
Posted by: Snippy Bitch at December 19, 2007 04:22 PM