January 10, 2008
I Am, Apparently, ReMarried
So I've been playing Marry-Fuck-Kill with Smokey, who says, "It's the best game ever!" A ringing endorsement, indeed. I can't believe she lived to be 28 and has never heard of it. I have so much to teach her.
We've been playing with themes: "Asian Action Heros," "Dead Fat Guys," "Black Comedians," etc. So I gave her three "Religious Leaders." Here's her response:
kill the pope. if it were john paul that'd be one thing but i don't like this benedict guy. he seems like an asshole hard ass. fuck the dali lama. he's probably into some tantric shit and could teach me a thing or two. marry bishop hanson because he's adorable and looks like santa. and english is his first language.
Needless to say, Smokey is totally fucked in the afterlife.
She then gave me "World Leaders," where I ended up marrying Tony Blair, and she remarked that that would be like marrying a woman. Which led to a whole conversation about how it would be awesome to marry a woman because your jewelry and purse selection would double, and your housework would be cut in half.
But apparently, I can't marry Tony Blair or any other woman because I'm already married to one.
PW: Ohmigod, I have to blog that story. That's totally hilarious.
My Wife: Well, okay, but change my name.
PW: What should I change it to?
MW: Beatrix.
PW: Done.
TWO HOURS LATER
MW: So I have to ask you something.
PW: What.
MW: When I told you what name I wanted to be called in your blog, why didn't you ask me how I came up with it?
PW: Oh my God. Are we married now?
MW: I'm serious! I was thinking about it, and I'm like, Isn't she wondering where I got that name?
PW: You are so my wife!
MW: So you didn't wonder?
PW: Well, I figured it was probably from some book you like, right?
MW: Now I'm not going to tell you.
PW: Oh, for God's sake. Can I still write the blog?
I'm still not sure if she was serious or joking... but I'm still going to write about the story she told me.