January 09, 2008
No Comment
Channel 5 had two vans parked in front of my Starbuck's this morning. Yes, my Starbuck's. I walk in, and everyone is like, "Norm!" And the caffiene monkey starts my order before I even get to the register.
And I enjoy such order in my life. I like my desk paper-pile-free. I like my closets organized by size and my cupboards by color. I park in the same space every morning. And my coffee order rarely strays from Venti Cafe Vanilla Frappucinno Light, No Whip.
I like my mornings quiet and as void of human interaction as possible.
The last thing I want to see at 7:00 a.m. is a pertly-dressed, orange-skinned woman smiling enthusiastically and standing next to a t.v. camera, which is shining a brighter-than-daylight beam directly into my corneas. Especially before I've had even a sip of caffiene.
I managed to avoid Pert Orange Lady on my way into the store because she was accosting a woman walking her two dogs, who told her, "I don't want to be on camera looking like this."
And looking at her, I couldn't blame her. But I thought about it and came to the conclusion that, on weekdays at least, 7:00 a.m. is pretty much the perfect time for me to be on camera. My make-up is flawless. My hair is newly-brushed. My clothes are void of crumbs and spillage.
Taking into consideration how good I looked at that moment, I began thinking about what I would say on camera, as the girl made my drink.
"What are they asking people about, anyway?" I asked her.
"Hillary."
Oh, for fuck's sake. Of course they are. I decided against getting anything to eat because I didn't want to puke it up.
Exiting the building, my vanilla bean-specked magic elixir in my hand, keys ready in the other, I saw that Pert Orange Lady and Camera Beast were standing right behind my car. There was no escaping them.
Why did I want to escape them, you're wondering? Because I don't enjoy talking politics. Ever. To anyone. While talking religion can sometimes have an undercurrent of shared spirituality, even when people disagree on the specifics, politics is based on Control, Power and Hatred.
People are too entrenched in their team and beliefs. One can grow and change in their ideas about God, but one rarely undigs his or her heels when it comes to Liberal vs. Conservative. So I simply refuse to engage. I'm not going to change anyone's mind, no one is likely to change mine, so why step in a big pile?
I have many friends who, I know, have political views that differ greatly from mine. And I adore them anyway. And I want them to continue to like me anyway. Group hug!
That's why I rarely bring up politics on my blog. In fact, I think I've mentioned it only once before, in passing. I'm just making an exception today because I can't think of anything else to write about. And because it's so rare that I turn down an opportunity to be on t.v.
The Pert Orange Lady perked up when she saw the I was, by necessity, making a bee-line directly for her. Apparently, she was having a hard time stopping people to chit-chat on their way to work. Imagine that.
"Good morning! Can I ask you a quick--"
"HAAAAAAAAATE HERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" I sang loudly.
She couldn't get away from my car fast enough. Crazy singing lady with the big gas-guzzling, carbon-footprint-enlarging SUV might run her over.
Comments
what I wouldn't give to see THAT on camera!!!!!(even tho I LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUV HERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!)
Posted by: heather at January 9, 2008 01:31 PM
Hillary is 44. Recognize!
Posted by: Kelly Garrett at January 9, 2008 11:54 PM
Why do I think they didn't air your impressive little self? I do also Hate Her.
Posted by: Vicki at January 10, 2008 03:21 PM