February 19, 2008
I'm Infamous... Again
I am so Lady Boss' bitch again today.
Smokey is all impressed that I manage to deal with her by laughing it off. But Smokey has been here for several years, whereas I've only been here since September. It just seems like several years. If I'd been here as long as Smokey, I would go African wild dog on LB's ass and start eating her entrails while she's still alive.
Smokey said, "You might as well have taken a bullet and bore children for her. She pretty much had you do everything else." Hee! Secretarial comradery is the best!
Things I've Done For Lady Boss Today
1. Called the I.T. dept. to get a speakerphone in the conference room she's using. Normally, they require 3 days notice. Because of LB's procrastination, I've never given them more than 3 hours notice for any item she has needed. I am famous with the I.T. people.
2. Called the I.T. dept. because LB couldn't get the speakerphone to work. So she called me, so I could call the Help Desk for her. I begged them just to go to her, rather than making me relay messages. Now I have to name my firstborn "Dilbert," in accordance with the agreement I had to make with them.
[I'd like to interrupt this pathetic list to say this: I have an I.Q. of 146. Mensa, I believe, starts accepting applications at 145. Not that the I.Q. is the end-all measurement of braininess, and I'm not saying this to brag. I'm just saying -- Mensa-worthy. To put this post into persepctive.]
3. Called the mail room to ask them to call me as soon as her overnight package from the printer arrives. Which was pointless because LB just sent my butt down there anyway to stalk the mail guys. (I'm famous with them, too.) Luckily, her package had just arrived, so I could open it for her and bring it up to her meeting. As a reward, she was kind enough to loosen my collar a bit.
4. Checked her email every 5 minutes looking for one from Barb. There was an attachment that I had to open, print off, make 10 copies of, and deliver to her conference room.
5. Lunch. I'd talked to the caterer weeks ago, so all that was left to do today was bring a cart with ice, drinks and cups to the meeting. Oh, and set out juices in the morning. Oh, and meet the caterer and sign for the food. Oh, and find a table for the food. Oh, and play Food Police so the other vultures having meetings today wouldn't eat my peoples' food.
Oh my God. I just saw my fav I.T. guy in the hall. He's like, "Oh, you're the one we're supposed to try not to kill today." See? Famous. Or infamous, as the case may be.
I'm like, "It's not me! It's my Evil Overlord! I'm really a nice person!"
I'm sure Lady Boss will call me any minute now and ask to have I.T. set up a complete surround sound system in the conference room, and I'll have to bring them 3 virgins, 2 white doves and a bull.
There are 400+ people in this building, and 100s more deployed. I have been here for 5 months. I don't believe it is a testament to my sparkling personality that the entire I.T. dept. knows me by name.
Comments
Save the virgins. The IT guys would just ask them to play D&D.
Posted by: Marty at February 19, 2008 04:09 PM
Your LB and my LB1 should go out for drinks. Except that my LB1 does not imbibe (though God knows she should!). Why LB1? Well, dear friend, I have 3 -yes 3- LBs. Talk about hazard pay. Oh, and Marty - SO F'ING FUNNY!!
Posted by: Vicki at February 20, 2008 10:44 AM