February 12, 2008
I Went There, but Sue Just Went
Last night, at chorale rehearsal, we were practicing this totally gay 16th century Elizabethan love lament madrigal thing. No wait! Keep reading! It gets better -- I promise.
So the sopranos -- that's me -- have this one spot where we come in a beat later than the rest of the parts, on the downbeat. It's kind of awkward because it's a note and a word that you wouldn't think would be on a downbeat (really, it does get better), so the director gave us a pep talk before making us sing that measure forty-seven times.
He told us, "The butt needs a big entrance!"
Okay, what he really said was, "The 'but' needs a big entrance."
As in, the word but, which started the phrase. But I don't need to tell you, my sweet flying monkeys, what a nose-picking degenerate I am. All I heard was some advice for great butt-sex.
"HA-HAAAAA!!!!!!!"
I looked around. I was the only female who had reacted. Outwardly, at least.
So I nodded resignedly at all the snippy bitches staring at me and said, "Yeah. I went there. ... I'm not proud."
Of course, my gay Husband and gay A were giggling like Japanese school girls on the other side of the room. They had gone there together. But I had gone there... alone.
Sue would have gone there with me! But nooooOOOOOOooooo, Sue isn't singing with us this season because she wants to... I don't know -- work on her career or some such shit? I wasn't listening, to be honest.
So I texted her:
PW: sigh. Another night without Sue.
S: Dude i'm in the coach outlet in napa. I'm buying stuff. A dog collar.
PW: Buy me something!
S: Shit i was still drunk from wine tasting. I bought two purses and a polka dot dog collar. Oh and i fell for an Irish bartender. Giving him my email if he works tonight.
Wine? Coach? Bartender? What else could I text back, except...
PW: Best! Vacation! EVER!
But I don't think she's going to buy me anything. If she's still coherent enough to text me, she's too sober to buy me a designer handbag.
Comments
HEY hey! Careful about who you call a snippy bitch! Cause I'd probably have gone "there" with you! The Original ...
Snippy Bitch
Posted by: Snippy Bitch at February 13, 2008 04:11 AM