February 01, 2008
Wenchie vs. Nylons
As I watched the White Scourge of the Midwest fall outside my cubicle window yesterday afternoon, I had this conversation with Heather via I.M.:
[By the way, Meebo lets you chat without having to download software onto your work computer -- check it out!]
PW: It's a bitch outside.
PW: I'm really hoping they close the building early, and then just LEAVE it closed until Monday!
H: yeah. liek that'll happe.
H: n
H: sorry. trying to type and hold a pen at the same time...
PW: don't worry - I speak Heather
PW: last time it snowed 5 in., they closed early and didn't open until, like, 10:00 or so the next morning. which was awesome
PW: and tonight we're expecting EIGHT
H: damn. sweet.
PW: I know!
PW: The person who makes the decision must live far away or something
H: that is genious.
H: it takes me an hour to get home no matter what, and they don't seem to mind if I come in late, or early, or on time, or whatever.
PW: at my old work, the guy making that call lived 5 min. away, so he didn't give a crap
H: I hate that
H: my last job, at IEC, they NEVER EVER cared about weather.
H: because the guy lived walking distance away.
H: fucker.
PW: fucker
H: ha!
PW: oh, tomorrow, I have to attend a staff-only-plus-spouses/partners dinner for Husband's work at the Bumblefuck Country Club
H:
PW: 28 miles away
PW: and I have to be there by 6:30, in rush hour traffic, so if Google says it takes 42 min. I'm gonna have to leave at 5:00 or something
PW: and drive to fucking Bumblefuck in the snow, in rush hour traffic
PW: to have dinner with strangers
PW: in a skirt
H: wear pants. and a low-cut top, or no top, just a bra and jacket.
PW: and I'm not even sure I OWN nylons, and I'm not going shopping in this weather
PW: Husband said that one lady's partner hates these functions, too
PW: I'm like, "Partner as in lesbian?" He goes, "Yes." I said, "Awesome. We're sitting with the crabby lesbians."
H: nylons? in this century? what happened to good old fashioned tights?
PW: don't have any of those either
PW: Yeah, I may do pants
PW: with black sheer blouse and black shelf-bra tank
PW: and my sword necklace
PW: so everyone gets the right impression of me right off the bat
PW: "Yes, I'm a bitchy, pirate hooker who'd rather fall on her sword than be here. Nice to meet you. Where's the bar?"
H: the perfect dinner date!
PW: exactly
You know, I live my live in a specific manner that ensures that I never have to wear nylons/tights/pantyhose/whatever you want to call those demonic strangulation devices. So thank God that He intervened and dumped a Rhode-Island-sized load of snow on Chicago.
(Sure, the one prayer of mine that He answers is about snow. Figures.)
Since my conversation with Heather, my work building has announced its complete closure for the day, and Husband has decreed that it's too dangerous for his precious, delicate angel to be driving to Bumblefuck this evening.
Nylons: "You got away this time, Wenchie! But I will return! Mark my words! I WILL RETURN!!!"
Comments
If I don't do laundry for a while all I have left for work are skirts and I think, okay that might be kind of cute...different! Then I realize I have no nylons or tights and begin rummaging through the dirty laundry bin for something not stained. I always tell myself to buy some tights just in case but then I think I'm not spending my hard earned money on stupid tights.
Posted by: Hope at February 1, 2008 03:49 PM
I envy you your snow day and your escape from Husband's shindig. Arnie Duncan NEVER closes the Chicago Public Schools. What is he thinking? 40,000+ employees at risk, 400,000 students, not to mention the parents driving in the foul weather and the children walking in the streets because the sidewalks are unpassable. I highly recommend Target tights. They are reasonably priced and hold up well.
Posted by: dalgal at February 1, 2008 08:40 PM
Nylons??????? How about some fishnets ( with spikes of course)!!!!!!!!!!! Excitement tonight!!!!! Garrance
Posted by: garrance at February 2, 2008 10:46 AM
ahhhhh!!! Thank you for the meebo. I'm using it now!
Posted by: Celestial at February 2, 2008 07:40 PM