March 31, 2008
All That Is Splendid In America: Part 2
Okay, okay, so it's not "tomorrow," as promised in the prequel, but hey, at least I got to the second part. Unlike most of my other mini-series. I suck.
When we last left our heroes, they were just quaffing down the last of their beer and saying adieu to the hole-in-the-wall that is classic Chicago dining.
Inga had bought so much stuff on her trip to Chicago that she needed another big tote bag to take on the plane back to New Jersey. Heather can smell one drop of couture in 500,000 gallons of air, so we soon found ourselves in retail heaven. Unfortunately, where simple chocolate is 12 pieces for $14, you ain't exactly going to find a tote that fits a college student's budget. So we indulged in $5 worth of dessert and were back out on the street.
And can I just say? When the hell did Puma become foot couture? When I was in school, Puma was what the poor kids wore because they couldn't afford Nike. And now it's on the same freakin' display table as the Coach footwear! A hundred bucks for freakin' Puma? What did that happen?!
With empty hands up full stomachs, we began the long march back to my car, via The Bean. Heather abandoned us to go back to work (whatev), so thank God that Sue was there to once again to lead us through the maze that is downtown Chicago.
(Yes, I know, Chicago is laid out in a perfect grid pattern. Shut up. It's not like you can see through the buildings!)
Okay, seriously, what the hell is up with The Bean. People spent $23 million dollars on a giant, silver jelly bean. It's totally whacked. I just don't get it. Was Chicago really that hard up for more landmark tourist attractions?
You decide.
By this point, I was tired and crabby and in serious need of a nap. I tried to get everyone out of my way so that I could get a photo of just The Bean, but the damn out-of-towners weren't cooperating. This isn't New York, people! We're accomodating here! Jerks.
We all took some photos and trekked across Millenium Park back to the car. I think it took a Millenium. Captain Von Trapp was like, "You kids, pipe down! These Alps aren't so bad. At least we're not having to walk across Chicago!"
There's only one thing to do when you're tired and crabby and tired and did I mention tired? Cocktails.
The funny thing about the John Hancock building is that you can see it from anywhere in Chicago... except when you're near it. And then you can't get to it. Unless you are motivated by the prospect of alcohol to persevere. Which we were. And did.
Since we aren't high-priced hookers, we couldn't afford dinner in the Signature Room, so instead, we hit the Signature Lounge, which still cost us $35 for three drinks! And I'm not even going to tell you what I paid for parking. It'll ruin your day.
In the lobby...
PW: Inga, I forgot to ask you if you're afraid of heights.
Inga: I am.
Sue: So am I.
PW: Well, crap! I am, too! Why are we doing this?!
Sue: Because as long as I can have a martini when I get to the top, I'll be fine.
PW: Inga, we don't have to go, if you don't want to. Sue can have a martini at home.
Inga: No, I want to go!
Sue: I didn't know you were afraid of heights.
PW: Well, it's not so much heights as it is really tall buildings. Mountains I'm okay with. If someone flies a plane into a mountain I'm on, I stand a much better chance of surviving.
Sue: Great. Now I need two martinis.
We didn't sit at one of the tables that was pressed up against the pane of glass separating the patrons from a very long plummet to their deaths, so we were all okay. And it was a beautiful day, so we had a great view.
So that's the end of our adventure in The City of Big Shoulders. I didn't see any exceptionally big shoulders, so that was disappointing. But maybe they were all working, and at 5:00, when everyone is walking to the train, it's almost impossible to move because of all the men with their big, burly shoulders taking up all the room on the sidewalks.
Ah, well, a girl can dream.
Comments
I love the bean. Why the hell did you want a photo of the bean without people? You can't do that; you have to take a photo of you [and retenue] reflected in the bean. WACKY. Even better AFTER drinks...
Posted by: Redhead Wannabe at March 31, 2008 04:32 PM
Not really $23 MILLION? Really? It's cool and all, but 23 million worth of cool, I think not. Don't you think for 24mill they could have put a roller coaster in it, or martini dispensers on the side or something besides just reflections? Surely, they could have come up with SOMETHING better than a giant mirror jelly bean for $23 mill.... and how is this the first I've ever heard of this?
Posted by: elle at March 31, 2008 10:54 PM