March 17, 2008
Trashy-Whorey
Like most of us, Heather is many things to many people. Sister, daughter, wife, BFF, confidant, fag hag. But my personal favorite side of her is The Trashy Whore.
Now, I can't tell you where she works (she has sworn me to secrecy!), but I can tell you that it fits her trashy-whorey-ness just perfectly.
For example, this is what she brought home from work the other day:
Curious to see what they look like on? I'll bet you are! Especially you foot fetishists...
No, that's no my grandpa wearing black patent leather hooker shoes. That's Egrau and her sexy black socks. Heather was pretty damn impressed at how well Egrau rocked those things like she was merely wearing gym shoes. But Egrau is a flight attendant and has developed Feet Of Steel. I don't think she can feel a damn thing below her knees anymore.
How hott is Billi?! Seconds after this photo was taken, Billi flipped her plastic-encased feet behind her ears and exclaimed, "Yup -- they work!" And then she got up and danced like a stripper.
I really need to get a pole installed in my kitchen. I feel I should note that this all happened after Billi had consumed two wine coolers and a beer. In the space of an hour. (Ha ha, Billi -- now Mom's writing YOU out of her will, too!)
No, this is not my tranny friend -- although I could see how the man-hands and size 10 feet would lead you to believe so. It's just Heather. She's so awesome at pulling together a look, it's hard to believe she's not a drag queen!
Of course, Sue was wearing her shamrock socks. Or sham-socks, if you will. But she wouldn't show me her panties, so I can't confirm whether or not they were green. Or... present.
And because my Irish friends will pop a blood vessel if I don't acknowledge this National Day of Drinking in some way...
There ya go. Happy St. Pat's.
Comments
Dear Billi of the three children:
How the hell did you get your figure back? You're making it hard for me NOT to hate you.
- Elff, of the pear-shaped body and two children.
Posted by: CelticElff at March 17, 2008 10:58 AM
This post is so offensive. I mean, socks with open toed shoes? Have you no decency?
Posted by: Kelly Garrett at March 17, 2008 01:25 PM
Hey, you didn't ASK to see my panties (or lack thereof).
Posted by: sue at March 17, 2008 02:36 PM
Dear Elff,
First, i love you and you are my new best friend.
Second, Jazzercize. (I know, I'm so gay.)
Third, You may hate me less to know that I'm still 20 lbs. heavier than before the 3 children.
And fourth, you are my new best friend. Oh, did I say that already?
Posted by: Billi at March 17, 2008 03:55 PM