April 15, 2008
Episode II: The Cooper Wars
PW: I hate the puppy.
Stella: What?!
PW: I hate. The puppy.
Stella: Mom! You can't!
Daisy: I knew you'd come around.
Stella: But he's so CUTE!
PW: He peed on my office rug!
Stella: Well, you left the door open!
PW: Don't you take that tone with me! You want your nails clipped?
Stella: No.
PW: Then zip it.
Daisy: Mom, you know he totally peed on your rug on purpose.
Stella: Don't you encourage her! She's PMSing! Who knows what she'll do to poor Cooper!
PW: I might eat him, if I can find the BBQ sauce.
Stella: C'mon, Mom. You don't really mean that. You don't really hate him.
Daisy: Sure, she does!
PW: Oh, Stella, don't look at me like that. It's not the end of the world. I hated you guys when you were tiny puppies.
Daisy: Yeah, she ha--WHAT???
PW: Daisy, you had explosive diarrhea for two weeks before we figured out what was wrong with you.
Stella: Ha!
PW: And Stella, do I need to recount for you all the pieces of furniture you've eaten?
Stella: La la la la la la la la la la, I'm not listeniiiiiiiiiiiing!
Daisy: God, Mom. I feel like a red-headed step-child. Why did you even get us?
PW: Well, I thought getting two Labs would make my lifestyle more closely resemble that of the people in the L.L. Bean catalogues.
Daisy: And?
PW: Not so much.
Daisy: I feel nauseous.
PW: Don't worry, Stella. He goes home in an hour or so. I'm pretty sure I can control my murderous inclinations in the meantime.
Stella: You're just saying that because we're out of BBQ sauce.
Daisy: It's like my whole life is a lie.
PW: Oh, stop being so dramatic. That's my whole point! I grew to love you! Just as I'm sure I'm grow to love Cooper one day.
Stella: He lives at Smokey's house.
PW: Exactly. Now who wants a rawhide?