April 17, 2008
"For Those About To Walk, We Salute You"
I have NO ideal what this title has to do with this episode.
Previously on "America's Next Top Model," the girls go on designer go-sees, there's a "wet 'n' wild" photo shoot, and Claire gets sent home for being a one-trick pony.
With seven models left, Whitney is glad that, as a plus-sized model, she's still around, and Lauren has realized that she can do this. Stacy knows that she has to step-up her game.
Fatima and Dominick know that they will be "going abroad" soon, and Fatima confesses that she has lost her travel documents. What an idiot. Who loses important shit like that??? She's not a U.S. citizen and only has her green card, so her lawyer is working on getting her new travel documents.
Wait a minute. If she's not a citizen, how can she be America's Next Top Model? I'm just sayin'.
Fatima cries. Whitney looks completely unmoved. Anya gives Fatima a pep talk.
Paula walks in, and the girls scream. She's there to teach the girls "how to best showcase" themselves, in case they're ever randomly in an interview situation. As if that's not a dead giveaway as to what their next challenge is.
In a roll-playing exercise, Stacy is a complete dipshit. Anya asks about Paula's parents, whom Paula says are dead. Hee! Lauren totally chokes. Kat refills her champagne glass, and Paula says, "Thank you, waitress." Hee! Paula's a bitch!
Paula says that many of the girls responded well (the ones we didn't see, apparently) but that all of them had dead eyes. And Dom babbled.
Later, Whitney has the girls making potato pancakes. Lauren is chopping onions and chops through her thumb nail. Ewwwwwww!
Fatima is on the phone with her lawyer, who says that the consulate says her request for travel documents is "too last-minute." The lawyer is worried that she won't be able to get them.
Back in the kitchen, Lauren is keeping pressure on her wound. I guess she chopped off the top of her thumb, ensuring that she'll never be a hand model. In fact, now she'll have to be like Radar from "M*A*S*H" and always pose hiding her thumb.
Lauren goes to the hospital, and Fatima interviews that Lauren is really strong, so if she's going to the hospital, she must be in a lot of pain. Holy shit. Fatima just said something kinda nice about someone.
Lauren misses the big, tacky, gold box that is mysteriously left on the runway for the girls. In it are a bunch of lemons and limes, and a box from "100% natural 7UP." Weird. The girls are going to some 7UP-sponsored event for Jay Godfrey. I wonder if that's Gilbert's brother?
Whitney is worried that it's "not a plus-sized party," so she'll just have to work extra hard. Jay Godfrey sends a rack of his dresses for the girls to wear, and also some stylists. Man, that almost never happens to me.
At the event, Laura Spencer from "Insider" is working the red carpet. Dom forgets the designer's name. Smooth. Lauren says that she should be America's Next Top Model because she can "kick the shit" out of any of the other girls. Classyyyyyyy.
But Whitney is the best. When asked about the pressure of being a plus-sized model, she replies that "the majority of women in America eat regularly," so she really feels she can represent American women. Brilliant.
But then she blows it inside when she's babbling to Nigel and some other guests about Texas. When she walks away, Nigel goes, "What was that about?" Kinda rude of him to talk about the contestants on his show that way, but he's a wanker, so what can ya do.
Outside, Laura Spencer gives her take on the girls. Anya was "poised in charming." Well, compared to her competition, I guess. Dom commited the cardinal sin of not knowing who she was wearing. Lauren needs to "loose the potty mouth."
Anya wins the challenge and gets to shoot an ad for 7UP 100% natural... au natural. She's covered in foliage for the shot, and 7UP gives her $10,000 for the job. Sweet!
Fatima talks to Stacy about steeling herself for bad news about her travel documents, and says that it's distracting her from the competition. Oh, well! That's what happens when you're an irresponsible moron!
And, people? How did this not come up until now??? I'm positive that a valid passport is a prerequisite for the show, since they always, always, always leave the country. Did she just remember that she lost her papers? Did no one check on that before she was allowed to compete? This is such hooey.
Fatima's lawyer gets her a 9:00 a.m. appointment at the New York consulate. She's so lucky.
Tyra Mail! Pack. The girls assume they are going abroad.
At 5:50 a.m., they are on their way to the airport. Fatima is very worried about the fact that her appointment isn't for another three hours. Okay, you can not tell me that this isn't all staged.
Jay is sitting on a private jet in his down jacket and tells the girls that their suitcases are their props for the shoot today. Which they don't even end up using, so I don't know how they were so easily fooled. Oh wait -- yes, I do. It'll be a group shot with the girls running to catch the plane.
Fatima is forlorn. She tells Jay her situation and plays the "refugee" card but wins no sympathy from him. He's all, "Well, I hope you're back in time. We need to be done with the plane by 3:00." He's mad that she waited until now to bring it up.
Lauren is working with a "wound," which actually garners some sympathy from Jay. Stacy is uber-cold, and her eyes keep tearing from the damn wind machine, so she's not selling it. Whitney earns her second beauty-pagaent critique of the episode. Anya can do no wrong. Dom does "remedial posing 101."
It's 12:45, and Fatima has her travel documents.
Jay sends the girls into the hanger to get their luggage, and Panel is set-up right there. Oh, they are so fucking with Fatima! Like remember what that girl found out that her friend died, and the next day, they had to pose in open coffins inside a freshly dug grave? Mean!
Tyra's all, "Where's Fatima?" And Fatima runs in and explains to Tyra. Tyra says that not participating in the shoot is bad because now they have no photo to judge. They'll have to look at her body of work, and when this has happened to other girls in past seasons, the girls have typically gone home.
Tyra then tells all the girls that they will be hopping a flight right after judging, but only six of them will be going. Fatima sobs.
Jay is the guest judge, and his hair totally matches his silver jacket. Eek.
Kat looks like a vintage airline poster. She does poised and conceited very well, Nigel points out.
Lauren's photo is stunning, and she was great at the party, so they can't figure out why she's still a hot mess when she gets in front of Panel.
Dom looks "high-kitch," fun and friendly. And because she's not smiling, you can't see the inch-deep furrows around her mouth. Seriously, people, she's SIXTY. Why is she still in the competition???
http://tv.yahoo.com/americas-next-top-model/show/35130
Stacy was over-the-top at the shoot and fake at the party. Her photo has "too much jaw."
Whitney's photo is the most natural, but the rest of her film is too pagaenty. Oh, she's doomed. Also, she didn't seem real at the party.
Anya was great at the party and "stole the show" at the shoot.
Fatima has no photo.
Hey. Lauren is Cover Girl of the Week. Huh.
Deliberations!
Kat is good, but the judges "keep forgetting about her." Dom is strong and keeps improving. Jay and Paula love Lauren and say that she's great on set.
Whitney has no personality. WHAT?! Crap. She'll be the next to go, I'm sure. Stacy is losing her sparkle. Anya is "secretly doing well." What does that mean?
The judges look at Fatima's body of work. Her homeless photo is their favorite. Her underwear shot on the boat is stiff. She's stunning covered in paint. The meat shot is "whack." Then there's a clip of Shannon, who refused to do the nude photo shoot and didn't go home. Is there hope for Fatima? I hope not.
So who goes overseas, and who stays home? Tyra calls Anya, Lauren, Dom, Kat and Whitney, leaving Stacy and Fatima in the bottom two.
Stacy is beautiful, but they feel like she has plateaued. Tyra is disappointed in Fatima's travel documents shenanigans. But it's Fatima she calls, and Stacy loses to someone with no photo. Ouch!
Tyra says that she hoped Fatima has "learned a lesson in responsibility." Well, no, she hasn't because her lawyer pulled strings and she got to stay in the competition, so basically, she was a retard and suffered no consequences for it.
Fatima hugs Stacy and says to her, "I love you. You're my favorite. You know that."
Stacy bawls her eyes out. I guess being Fatima's favorite is little consolation. But she says that "God has great things for me." I love it when they think that God gives a shit about modeling. 'Cause He's got nothing else on His plate.
Tyra and the panel board their private jet, but she tells the girls they are taking a commercial flight. Hee! To Rome!
Next week: Fatima gets really sick, and we get to watch the girls butcher the Italian language in a Cover Girl commercial!
Comments
I loved that Whitney said she has to work on (what I thought she meant) slimming a bit because she's the only plus sized model, but then she's making POTATO PANCAKES! Really? Did I hear that wrong?
Posted by: sue at April 17, 2008 05:24 PM
Whitney needs to stop hating on the skinny girl's if she is going to win this competition! I do not want her going home before Dominick. At this point, I see Fatima as most supermodelesque.
Posted by: Kelly Garrett at April 17, 2008 09:04 PM