April 02, 2008
My Stupidity Knows No Bounds
So I had this theory... that, if I brought my entire purse into Jewel with me, being larger than just a wristlet, it would be more difficult for me to forget about and leave behind.
I'm feeding a dozen people tomorrow night, and I also have to make some ridiculously decadant cookies for Marty, who rescued me from my own computer ignorance by coming over Monday morning and taking two minutes to fix my internet connection. TWO MINUTES. So clearly, not a difficult problem. And yet? Too difficult for Blondie McBlonderstein here.
Anyhoo, I brought my lovely and talented black leather Coach mini duffel purse into the Jewel with me.
And promptly left it as an apparent parting gift for the "differently abled" person who bagged my groceries.
I. DON'T. LEARN.
Thank God she is too "differently abled" to know a Coach purse from a bunch of bananas because she saved it for me and returned it to me when I went jogging back into the store.
And in a beautiful Lifetime Channel moment, the "differently abled" girl restored the bitchy, jaded suburban housewife's faith in humanity. Awwwwwwwwww.
I hope they get Jane Seymour to play me and Rosie O'Donnell to play the bagger girl. Because no one plays a 'tard like Rosie.
Comments
Jane would have to cut her hair, a little. and, of course, get a boob job. I am ALL for this movie.
Posted by: heather at April 2, 2008 03:06 PM
We are going to have to find you some hang around your neck thing, with an alarm - you take it off, alarm goes off. Wonder if Coach makes something like that?
Posted by: Vicki at April 2, 2008 03:31 PM
You mean you don't want to be played by Shelley Hack? How dare you!
Posted by: Kelly Garrett at April 2, 2008 04:21 PM
In addition to what Heather said, Jane Seymour isn't exactly blonde, either... and all the hair dye in the world isn't going to make her a convincing one, either.
Posted by: Ozoxog, Dark Lord of Cold, Hard Truths at April 3, 2008 11:08 AM