May 15, 2008
"And the Winner Is..."
This finale of "America's Next Top Model" brought to you by Sue, who TiVoed it for me because I had Movie Night at my house Wednesday night and couldn't watch or tape the episode when it aired.
Previously... well, if you don't know, don't even bother reading this. The remaining three are Whitney, Fatima and Anya.
Or as Tyra would say, effervescent and ethereal Anya, full-figured and amazing Whitney, and strong Fatima who missed a photo shoot.
Anya is excited and believes in herself. After growing up in a shack with no running water, Fatima wants the world to see her as beautiful. (Boy, you'd think, living like that, she would have turned out less... superficial.) Whitney has gotten really close with Anya and wants them to be the Final Two.
Mona Tyra Mail! The girls have to memorize their lines for a Cover Girl commercial. They are all grateful that it'll be in English this time, and so is all of Italy.
Jay greets them in front of the Colusseum. In addition to the Cover Girl mascara commercial, they'll also get a print ad will be will featured in WalMart and on a billboard in Time Square.
Oh, and Saleisha is there.
Anya is teary-eyed with nervousness, and Jay gives her a pep talk, telling her that she "has the look," so all she has to do is be herself. Awwwwwww, I love it when he's sweet. It's so rare.
Whitney tells Saleisha that she's the first plus-sized model to make it this far, and Sal starts to say something nice, but they are interrupted by the disturbing sight of Anya weeping. She doesn't want to fail and really wants to be in the Final Two.
In front of the camera, Jay gives Fatima directions to be conversational. But when she starts saying her lines, she's "just plowing through them." He then calls her "robotic" and "not human." HA!
Whitney is adorable, and Jay eats her up with a side of BBQ sauce. Anya's "wonderful energy" saves her goofy performance because she's so "relatable." And I think the word relatable was used 37 times in this episode.
Then it's time to shoot the will-be print ad. Whitney is fabu. Fatima thinks that she herself is relatable to lots of young women, probably because so many young women are East African refugees. Anya "models from her toes up."
Mona Tyra Mail! Judging! At Panel, Tyra calls them "the top three baddest chicks." It's so cute when Tyra tries to relate to the young people.
Paulina says that Whitney's commercial looks like a "Miss America competition" and she's going to "feed poor orphans" after she wins. But the others say that it's her best photo, and she looks "vintage" and "stellar." Tyra particularly likes that she looks like a model and not some actress that Cover Girl hired to pose. Hmmmm, issues much, Ty-Ty?
Nigel says that if Fatima was "selling toothpaste, she'd be fantastic." Paulina does a robot imitation of her. Tyra instructs her in the famous open-eye-squint that we see her do every season. By now, my dogs can "smile with their eyes."
I wanna hear Anya say "last blast" ten times fast with her weird-ass accent. Tyra says that the commercial is a trainwreck, but when she dissects it, it's the best one: honest, natural and charming. Paulina when accusses her of having "no personality" and looking "stupid."
You know, Paulina is almost as much of a bitch as Janice, but without the pizazz.
Deliberations!
This isn't Anya's best photo, and they think the competition is getting to her. Fatima wants it so badly that it has taken control of her mind. Whitney is amazing, but they feel that she's covering something up.
Nigel will be shooting the "Seventeen" cover that the winner will appear on.
The two finalists, who will walk in a Versace fashion show in gowns hand-picked for them by Donatella (the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle?), are...
Anya is called, and Whitney and Fatima both start crying. Whitney is stunning, "but who is Whitney?" Fatima gives great face, but modeling is also about taking direction. Tyra calls WHITNEY because of her potential.
Fatima thanks Tyra, who tells her that she is "more than her story." Whatever that means. Fatima "feels new" and wants to start her life all over again.
Anya says that Whitney's fear and crying was beautiful. Whitney says that she grew up with mean girls and their backhanded compliments. "You're not really that fat..."
Nigel shoots the girls' cover shots for "Seventeen"'s July cover. It's all jeans and t-shirts and red, white and blue. We get an adorable montage.
The Versace fashion show is in a big church, where Jay is going for an Imperial Roman feel, with Saleisha and male "eye candy."
Whitney bemoans the fact that she has "been on the chopping block" four times, while Anya never has. Sutan reminds her that she's the "first juicy beauty" to make it this far.
The show starts, and Jay encourages them to "stomp it to the death." The judges make their entrace via the runway. Miss J is wearing, some sort of gold tiara that Roman women used to wear. Paulina is in leopard print. Tyra is... just friggin' HOTT. I'll bet she's wearing Versace.
Out of the gate, Anya is perfect, and there's only one word for Whitney -- BOO-YAH! Next pass, Whitney is wearing some hot pink gown that's short in the front and long in the back. It's very Barbie. Anya is in a silver gown with butt-cleavage and having trouble walking.
Panel! There's no guest judge. Not even Jay. Which is a travesty.
Seeing Anya on the runway, the judges are surprised that she wasn't as strong as they thought she'd be. Whitney delivered. "BAM!" Tyra had a flashback to... herself, of course. But Whitney didn't pose at the end of the runway.
As they look at the girls' portfolios, I can't help but notice that Paulina is wearing a tiara and a bun, which makes her look like an aged ballerina. Gag.
Deliberations!
Whitney: "Power," "energy," "alive," "presence," "ham," "juicy," "stuck." Juicy ham? Were they deliberating or ordering lunch?
Anya: "Weak," "fell apart," "good angles," "energy."
Anya is more interesting, but Whitney is prettier. Nigel says, "Whitney's the one you want to take to bed, but Anya is the one you'll buy a dress from."
The girls come back, and Tyra calls...
WHITNEY!
Holy shit! I can't believe it! I thought for sure Anya would win! I think it was planned all along because Tyra got tired of taking photos with the skinny bitches.
Anya says that she will have a good cry but she's so proud of herself.
Whitney says that she hated being judged as a kid, so she wants other women to "feel good about themselves and know that they don't have to starve."
And now, I'm going to have a ham sammich.
Comments
I love your blog because it's just so damn relatable. Thanks for letting my dog out! I just may become an ANTM groupie. Or I'll just read the blog. Unless you bring pizza to my house. Every episode.
Posted by: sue at May 15, 2008 06:51 PM
I am so happy that Whitney won! Although I will say, the girls this season are no match for past winners and finalists.
Posted by: Kelly Garrett at May 16, 2008 10:22 AM
I thought Paulina was trying to look a little too 'Breakfast at Tiffany's' during the final judging. I nearly licked the tv when I saw Tyra walk down the runway - she looked better than most of the models.
The runway was pretty boring, two dresses? They didn't have to do anything other than walk - and dressing Whitney like Anna Nicole? I'm glad she won but I don't think they had to do that much for their finale compared to other seasons. My favorite is the haunted wedding dress stomp off.
When does the next season start up?
Posted by: Hope at May 16, 2008 12:20 PM