May 19, 2008
Prescription: Lawsuit
Because he is the rock star of all doctors, Dr. Hottie is simultaneously fixing my forearm, helping me strengthen my core, and trying to figure out my gastro and roseacea issues. In this vein, he gave me a little survey to take about overall intestinal health.
Samples:
Circle the number that best describes the intensity of your symptoms with 0 being none and 3 being severe.
Bloating, belching and flatulence immediately after meals.
Itching around the rectum.
Undigested food in stool.
Chronic candida infections.
So you see my problem.
Dr.: Did you bring the digestive assessment I gave you?
PW: No.
Dr.: Why not?
PW: I've decided I'm not doing it.
Dr.: What?!
PW: Dude, you know my rule. I don't discuss internal distress with cute guys.
Dr.: Right. So just... do it and bring me the numeric scores for each section.
PW: Seriously? I don't have to give details?
Dr.: Not really.
PW: THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU GIVE ME THAT OPTION IN THE FIRST PLACE?! I wrestled with this for days! Jerk.
Then he showed me the next level of core-strengthening exercies.
Dr.: Okay, first, I want you on your hands and knees.
PW: Ohhhhhhhh, I've waited so long to hear you say those words to me.
That's right. Bringing inappropriate behavior to a professional setting since 1969.
Comments
BRING THAT QUESTIONAIRE TO COFFEE ON THURS. AND THE SNIPPY BITCH,I AND YOU WILL DISCUSS IN DETAIL.WE WILL NOT HOWEVER, BE GETTING ON ALL FOURS. A STOOL SAMPLE WILL BE REQUIRED! GARRANCE
Posted by: garrance at May 19, 2008 03:21 PM
I'd pick zero for everything if he's that hot - and then I'd get on all fours.
Posted by: Hope at May 20, 2008 08:35 AM
Huh. You never had any problems discussing your GI issues with me. I wonder wh...oh.
Never mind.
:-)
Posted by: Marty at May 20, 2008 08:52 PM