July 07, 2008
Fourth of the What Now?
Despite fireworks being illegal in Illinois, there were fireworks going off everywhere Thursday and Friday night. Which is fine, I don't care. I don't have kids, I sleep with earplugs in anyway, and I was blessed with two dogs who don't freak out at loud noises.
I don't know how we got so lucky. I mean, they are completely retarded in every other way. One day in March, Daisy decided to stop going down stairs ever again. And Stella is a Labrador Retriever who won't go in the water.
See? Morons.
Sue said it's because they are "gun dogs" and bred to be unafraid of hunting rifles or any other loud noises. But Labs are also bred to be smart,... so you see why I'm dubious about the whole breeding theory.
Yup, 4th of July, and my idiot dogs were sound asleep. People could break into my house, guns blazing, and the dogs would sleep right through it. All the neighborhood dogs were freaking out, but my dogs were sawing logs.
Now you can bet your ass, if I slowly peeled a banana in the other room, they'd be magically transported to the floor at my feet, instantly alert. I'm serious, I've seen it.
Also? They can hear the other one being petted in another room. The second my hand hits fur, whoever isn't being stroked has to come barrelling over and take out my knees.
And I swear, any other day, the sound of all the other dogs in the neighborhood barking their fool heads off would have the fur up on both Daisy and Stella's backs. But when barking is accompanied by fire and explosions? Nuthin'.
I'm not complaining, mind you. These two are annoying enough without the added fireworks-induced panic. I just think it's completely incongruent.
And therefore, retarded. Sooo... not incongruent. I guess.
Did I have a point?