September 19, 2008
The Emissions
Dear Woman in the Bathroom Stall Next To Me,
There are four stalls in the 11th floor bathroom. I was in the last one, the furthest from the door. Which means there were two very convenient stalls that you could have used, leaving at least one buffer-stall between us as we powdered our noses, so to speak.
But you chose neither of those stalls. Which I find quite odd. Yes, there was a "wall" between us. But the wall goes neither to the floor nor the ceiling, so it's not so much a wall as it is the mere hint of a politeness barrier.
I don't like going potty two feet away from another person. Unless it's Billi, and then I couldn't care less because we spent at least 30% of our childhood in the bathroom together -- peeing, bathing, shaving our legs, brushing our teeth.
But as you are not my sister, I don't want you airing your hoo-ha, sphincter, and all the emissions thereof so damn close to me.
Ah, but you took it one step further, didn't you?
You collapsed onto the toilet seat and unleashed a torrential barrage of farts and excrement of various consistancies. It was noisy. It was smelly. And it was, at most, two feet from my person.
And you did it on purpose! You chose to be that close to me! You deliberately put me in the immediate vicinity of your DIARREAAAAAAA, YOU DISGUSTING PIG!!!!!!!
I can't imagine what would possess a woman to subject a sistah to that. I mean, I would expect that from a man because they like to fart in the car and roll the windows up and activate the child-proof window-locks. But I would expect a female to have a teesny, tiny bit more class than that.
I feel personally insulted and violated. I hate you and wish you unsolid, ass-burning, volcanic poop for the rest of your life.
Love, Wenchie
P.S. You left you diet A&W can on the sink. I know who you are.
Comments
OMG! That is not right at all. I had a woman choose the stall next to me recently, plopped down and started going to town. Really? Just because it's a public bathroom does not mean you need to be as public as possible. I was almost surprised she shut the stall door after her frankly.
Posted by: Hope at September 21, 2008 12:23 PM
Sounds suspiciously like this
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/aus/323013997.html
Posted by: ASSMAN at September 21, 2008 11:28 PM