September 18, 2008
Who's a Big Girl? Wenchie Is!
On October 30, I turn thirty-nine. And today, for the first time, I had this surreal moment where I really felt like a grown-up.
Most days, I look at my tastefully-decorated house, my cool car, my two furry dependants, my schedule, my senior partner husband... and I think, "Day-um. When did I get so respectable? How am I fooling so many people? Don't they know that I'm still twenty years old? How did they let me have all this stuff?"
But today, as I walked to my car, I felt... adult. And not in the usual porno way, either.
Currently, at work, I have an office. Yes, I'm a temp, but my old boss' empty office is literally the only free desk on the entire floor. So I have an office with a door. And if I balled up a piece of paper and threw it out my office door, I'll bet I could land it in Official Title's office. That's how close I sit to greatness.
Most days, I think, "Are all these people just as retarded as I am? Are we all just fooling each other? These people think I'm a hard-working, capable, committed employee. That's insane! Who's idea was it to give me all this responsibility?!"
But today, after my meeting with the hotel representative to work out logistics for the event I'm planning, I'm like, wow. This is what grown-ups do. They go to meetings and make decisions and have other people accept those decisions. AT FACE VALUE! Simply because I'm... me?
CRAZINESS! UTTER FOOLISHNESS!
Tomorrow, I'm going in on my usual day off -- after I deliver lunches to my shut-ins -- to attend a department meeting. One of my co-workers commended me for being so conscientious as to realize that was necessary and to volunteer to attend.
ME! CONSCIENTIOUS! I almost fell out of my tasteful-yet-trendy, leather loafers!
Jesus Christ, whose shoes are these?!?!
So I strode proudly to my car, carrying my nearly-briefcase-sized Hobo International purse, with my Franklin Covey sticking out, and I felt so... satisfied. It was weird. I've been waiting my whole life to feel grown-up, and it finally happened.
Thank God I was wearing my hot pink, leopard-print panties or I never would have recognized myself.
Comments
Ah, t'is y'r day if there ever be one, bonny lass! T'is a grand day t' be a salty wench!
(Happy International Talk Like A Pirate Day!)
Posted by: Homidus Corax Celticus at September 19, 2008 10:00 AM