December 26, 2008
Stocking Stuffers
The first Christmas that Husband and I were married, he got all kinds of cool, manly, Eddie-Bauer-y stocking stuffers from me. Believe me, if he's ever lost in the woods, he's... well, he's screwed because I'm sure that everything he'd need would be in his other coat, but I can't be held responsible for that.
I got squat.
The next Christmas or two, he started to catch on. It helped that Billi and I would do stocking stuffers for each other. He was all, "What mean this -- how you say -- stocking stuffer?" He would go to Office Max and shop there for pens and post-it notes and other officey paraphenalia to put in my stocking.
I was not amused. His heart was in the right place, as he himself LOVES getting office supplies in his stocking. So in his defense, he was buying me something that he thought was really cool...
But seriously. One only has to look in my office, or our shower, or my purse, or our linen closet, or my dresser drawers to see that I am a Product Whore. Why not shop for stocking stuffers at Bath & Body Works, at the very least? Hell, I'd even settle for Target! The Beauty aisle is right by the Wine and Chocolate aisles! Can't miss it!
This year, I quit fooling around. I made a wish list on Sephora, emailed him the link and told him to stay the hell away from Office Max.
And God bless him, he listened. He was even clever enough to employ Older Step Daughter, who works at Sephora, to play elf. And between the two of them and Billi, I am going to be The Most Edible Wench On The Planet. (I had the reverb on when I typed that last part, so it'd be all echo-y. Didja hear it in your head? I did!)
Behold, I am a walking dessert tray!
Now, when you order the Minty Almond Cherry Chocolate Strawberry Vanilla Spicy Citrus Sweet Creamy Red Velvet Sugar Shortcake, be sure to ask you're waiter for two forks so you can split it. It's very rich!