January 14, 2009
Such a Pill
Stella -- my 2-1/2 year old black lab with the puppy face and huge feet and runty legs and weirdly-short tail -- has a chronic infection in her ears. It's not uncommon with long-eared dogs, but it's getting expensive. Not to mention, I have to clean brown crap outta her ears every night. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww! It's technically a yeast infection, but I try really, really hard not to think about that.
I also have to give Stella a tiny pill twice a day. With Daisy, I can just throw it in her food bowl, and she'll snarf it down. She's a retard. Stella is a bit harder to fool (surprising, I know), and she's tiring of my methods.
PW: Stella! Come!
Stella: [mosies into the kitchen] What.
PW: Whatsa matter with you? You usually come running when you hear me opening the peanut butter jar.
Daisy: I came running, Mom! Mom? I came running! Do I get peanut butter?
Stella: I'm kinda over the peanut butter.
PW: I see. Well, how about some cheese?
Stella: What kind?
Daisy: I like cheese!
PW: American.
Stella: The kind that comes hermetically sealed in individual sheets of plastic?
PW: Well,... yeah.
Stella: What else ya got?
Daisy: I like American cheese!
PW: Muester.
Stella: Monster?! Are you trying to kill me?!
Daisy: Idiot! We could've had cheese!
PW: [sigh] I have vanilla yogurt?
Stella: Didn't I smell some taco meat in the fridge this morning?
Daisy: I like vanilla yogurt!
PW: Vanilla. Yogurt.
Stella: Yogurt it is!
PW: [scoops some yogurt, hides the pill]
Daisy: Did I hear you talking about taco meat...?
Stella: [eats the yogurt]
PW: You don't even need a pill, so be grateful you're getting anything at all!
Stella: [licking her lips] Pill...?