February 27, 2009
Dr. Hottie Should Go On Tour
Wenchie's List of Non-Sports-Related Injuries for Which She Has Seen Dr. Hottie
1. Pain in shin acquired while crossing the street, walking at approximately have-to-pick-up-the-phone-before-it-goes-to-voicemail speed for three seconds.
2. Tennis elbow from using the computer mouse too vigorously while trying to keep current on all the new eyeshadow shades on Sephora.com.
3. Sprained ankle from falling on the ice while taking out the garbage. Barely even made it off the back porch.
4. Injured shoulder from falling partway down some stairs, even though one's shoulder is generally the body part almost farthest from the stairs, when one is walking normally.
And the latest and greatest...
5. Pinched nerve in shoulder from hunching over my computer keyboard sixteen hours a day and then sleeping in a fetal position for the remaining eight.
If there's a way to hurt myself while remaining absolutely motionless, I've done it, or will do it in the very near future. I'm the most injured bookworm I know. Gerald Ford is like, "Damn, that girl is clumsy!"
So I walk into Dr. Hottie's office, and he always has to wait a minute before noticing me. He likes to pretend that he hasn't been looking forward to my visit all day. It's cute.
So the assitants say Hi, and he looks up from a folder like, "Oh, hi!"
And then he asks, "Did everyone compliment you on your hooter today?"
No, that's not a typo. One hooter. As in, I was wearing an owl pendant on my necklace. Which it took me about half a second to remember before I started laughing hysterically.
The older assistant blushed and was all, "What? What did you say to her? That's not appropriate!" And the younger one just kept looking sideways at us like she had no idea how to react.
I said, "You just say stuff like that because you know I'll put you in my blog."
And he was right. So as long as I'm talking about him, I accidentally left my card i.d. badge in his office. Upon further reflection, it was probably pretty Freudian of me. I went yesterday morning before work to pick it up.
He goes, "I was doing to drop it by your house, but I ran out of time."
Dr. Hottie knows where I live?!?! Almost dropping my i.d. at my house is the grown-up-and-married equivalent of almost riding his bike past my house, doncha think? Pretty soon, he'll be almost calling me and hanging up when I answer!
Comments
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who gets hurt when not actually DOING anything.
I sprained my ankle taking the dogs outside. I stepped on the grass and woosh! There I was on my ass.
I twisted my ankle walking to work, no reason, just a klutz.
I fell while walking to a meeting. Again, no reason.
I'm noticing a trend....I'm always walking when I get hurt. Maybe I should place an order for the Hover Round before I do any more damage to my aging body.
Posted by: Hope at February 27, 2009 10:40 AM
I had to go see Dr. Hottie because of a visit to the dentist. No joke.
He has your address on file. nerd. ;)
Posted by: KT at February 27, 2009 10:56 AM