February 25, 2009
I Am a Racist Bastard Who Should Be Dragged from My Cubicle and Beaten Publicly
On the way home in the car the other day, I realized, during a commercial on the radio...
"Holy fucking shit. I just said, to an African American woman, Is that a black thing?"
Immediately upon reaching home, I got on I.M. and told Heather the sin I had committed.
Once she stopped laughing at me, I explained the circumstances so I could get her ruling -- Total Asshole or just Ignorant Dipshit?
I was admiring the headband that Rose, an African American co-worker, was wearing. She has dreadlocks and was keeping them off her face with a very wide, almost net-like headband. I thought it was cool and was wondering if it might work on my hair because I love headbands, but they always snap off my giant melon and/or give me a headache.
So I asked Rose about it. She told me where she got it and how much she paid, and that's when I said...
Is that a black thing, or can a white person wear it?
Now, my concern is this: I really hate white college kids who dread their hair and wear rasta colors and listen to Bob Marley and think they know something about the plight of the Haitians. They don't. They are total poser douchebags.
See, Rose wears lots of African fashions, and I didn't know if the headband was an extension of that. If so, I don't want to wear something similar and look like a total poser douchebag.
Get it? I wasn't trying to be an insensitive dicksmack! I just... completely came off that way.
And I didn't even apologize or explain my reasoning or anything because I didn't even realize what I'd done until I was driving home!
AAAAAAAAAACK!
So Heather asked how Rose responded. And I told her that she just kept laughing and talking because I was explaining my fear of asking African American people about their hair, which she thought was hilarious. And considering how much time I've spent on this blog positively obsessing about African American hair... or just African hair, because I'm sure people in Africa have the same hair, but they're not American...
Good God, being politically correct is exhausting and confusing.
Anyhoo, my point is -- I have clearly missed my calling to be a world-famous Norwegian hairdresser of African hair.
And my other point, the point I was getting to when I started this blog fourteen unrelated ramblings ago, is -- can I still be considered a racist if my racism is completely accidental? And the subject of my racism didn't even seem to notice?
I just opened up a whole can or worms right there, didn't I? Discuss it in your small groups, and then we'll talk about our findings with the whole group. You have ten minutes.
(P.S. Tomorrow I will try to work into conversation, "Several of my closest friends are black!")
Comments
my verdict, in case anyone was wondering, is that if her co worker was laughing, it was obvious that wenchie came off as her normal, non-racist, hilarious self, and that any further reference would make her look like an ignorant dicksmack.
Posted by: heather at February 25, 2009 11:59 AM
You are a racist. Don't feel bad, everyone (not just Whitey) is either a racist or a racist liar. At least you had the decency to fess up.
Posted by: THE ASSMAN at February 25, 2009 04:29 PM