February 23, 2009
Wenchie's Stimulus Plan
Once upon a time, I was married to an alcoholic. He was my best friend and understood me in ways that most other people never do.
He understood that "Xena" was not about hot women in studded, leather mini-skirts -- it was about a code of honor. He understood why I have a deep, instinctive mistrust of cats. He understood my need to always rock the boat because it's a necessary evil, and if I'm going to have to be the black sheep, so be it.
But that fucker stole several hundred dollars from us each week to buy booze for himself and his toadies, and by the time I left him, I was thousands of dollars in debt. And I will never forgive him for the choices I was forced to make.
Electric bill or groceries? Gas for the car or that money we owe my cousin for dinner? Phone bill or dog food? Well, that last one wasn't too hard. ALWAYS pay the phone bill so that no one knows you're broke. The dogs could eat crackers and dog treats for a couple days.
Ah, there's nothing like the shame of being married to an idiot who is ruining your life. I hated to cop to My Biggest Fuck-Up Ever In A Long Line Of Fuck-Ups, but I had to cop to it in order to explain to people why I was divorcing the man that my friends and family liked so much.
He was fooling you, people! And, well, so was I. Of course, now I'm happy to tell anyone who will listen, like the entire internet, what a piece of dead-weight feces he was.
And we're nearing my point, which is Wenchie's Stimulus Plan, devised because I know what it's like to be flat broke. But before you assume that I'm going to regurgitate what I've heard or read somewhere else, here me out -- my idea is pretty new and radical.
When I was going through my divorce and living in Billi's basement and mooching rides off her because my car was reposessed, a person close to my family sent me a check for $500. Just out of the blue. And with it was a note that said they know how expensive divorce is, and they were giving me a gift -- not a loan -- because they could. And because I needed it.
That check became the deposit on an apartment for me. And I kinda feel bad mentioning it without mentioning all the other amazing things that people did for me during that time (you know who you are!). But I guess it struck me because of a.) the size, and b.) it came from such an unexpected source.
That single act has really shaped my thoughts about money. Like, Person A has money, Person B doesn't. Why can't Person A just give Person B some money?
Now, I'm not talking about propping up deadbeats or enabling addicts. But we all know some person or family whose life has taken a sudden and undeserved crash. We all know someone worse off than us, through no fault of their own. And if you have a job and they don't, a hundred bucks is going to mean a helluva lot more to them than it does to you.
So here's my Stimulus Plan. Decide what you can afford to part with, and go buy someone some diapers for their kid, or a $20 Target gift card, or fifty bucks cash stuck inside a St. Patrick's Day card. It's only money, people.
And yeah, the person receiving it will feel weird about it. So tuck it inside their wallet when they're not looking. But make sure they know that it's a gift, and that you don't care what they do with it.
(And a word of advice if you're the recipient: Know that what your friend is purchasing is their own peace of mind. They hate seeing you worry and suffer, so do your friend a favor and just accept it.)
And if you're still not convinced, remember that what goes around, comes around. The person you help out today will help you out in some completely unexpected way five years from now. Consider it an investment in your own well-being.
We're all in this life together. Let's be Pure Awesome to each other.
Comments
Wenchie gets so sentimental on us! Where's the sarcasm? But, nice message!
Posted by: KT at February 23, 2009 01:18 PM
A good plan. I was the recipient of a similar gift when I was single and unemployed - a friend paid my rent for *two* months. (Hubby still doesn't know) A little goes a long way, and "pay it forward" is the least I can do now, in a household with two full-time incomes.
Posted by: Lola at February 24, 2009 06:25 AM
Dang - aren't you all Oprah-y today! That's such a sweet idea, I think some times we don't think we have enough to give to make a difference, when really a small amount goes a long way for someone with nothing.
The local news did a story about some schools doing a 'pay it forward' campaign. They have business cards to hand out and everything.
Posted by: Hope at February 24, 2009 11:36 AM