April 16, 2009
God Is My Blog
Yesterday morning in chapel, the gospel choir sang...
Yeah, I'm really starting a blog entry like that. God, I hate myelf.
So they're singing:
God is!
[God is!]
My ev-er-y-thiiiing!
And while this is going on in the background, the lead singer ad libs some things that God Is, i.e. "my brother and sister," "my prince of peace," "my shelter from the storm," etc.
So now, of course, I have this gospel song going through my head. And while my little back-up singers -- who are wearing fringe and white go-go boots and are all in cages -- sing "God is my everything!" My lead singer, who is... well, me, is ad libbing about what God is.
God Is!
My mother and father!
God Is!
My plumber and mailman!
God Is!
My shelter from taxes!
God Is!
My burger and fries!
God Is!
My Google and Yahoo!
God Is!
My Prince spaghetti!
God Is!
My black, leather Coach bag!
God Is!
My last day of work!
That's right, brothers and sisters, Pastor Wenchie has left the building. At 4:00 yesterday.
Remember all my bitching and whining about having to find a fulltime job? (To be distinguished from all your other bitching and whining HOW, Wenchie?) Well, the Bible tells us that God has a wicked sense of humor -- what with the smoting and wandering and sacrificing and all -- and the Bible is right. Because God heard my prayer and answered it, completely to my detriment.
Okay, God! I get it! You can stop F-ing with me now!
Yeah, the position I was temping in -- the position I applied for and almost had in my grasp -- was eliminated in the last round of budget cuts.
So.
Here I am. It's 9:00 a.m., and I'm still in my jammies, unshowered. The only thing I've managed to accomplish today is making French toast for breakfast. After I burned the oatmeal. (Fuck you, oatmeal! If you were easier to make, I wouldn't have to eat something bad for me! Look what you made me do!!!)
Comments
Damn. I didn't make the cut.
Posted by: Marty at April 16, 2009 10:59 AM
Fuck the oatmeal.
Posted by: Hope at April 16, 2009 07:06 PM