April 22, 2009
Rolo Bits
Remember a few years ago, when it was all the rage for candy makers to make their candy in tiny versions of itself? Like Poppables, or something?
The Rolo version of poppable candy was like crack for me. I don't particularly care for the adult-sized version of Rolos, as they tend to glue your jaw shut. But the baby ones? Rolo Bits, I believe? They were the perfect ratio of chocolate-to-caramel. I couldn't get enough of them. For one weekend on vacation, I ate nothing but Rolo Bits and milk. Unhealthy? Yes. Regretable? Eventually. Worth it? FUCK YEAH.
And Rolo Bits were special because, unlike the other candies that were just round little pellets, Rolo Bits maintained the shape of original Rolos -- only smaller. It's like Rolo Bits were designed by adolescent, Japanese girls! So tiny! So desirable!
But apparently, Rolo Bits have gone the way of New Coke and Carnation Instant Breakfast Bars. I just can't find them anymore.
(Carnation Instant Breakfast Bars are another loss I am coping with. But I can't go into it here. One day at a time, Wenchie. One day at a time.)
And I really wanted some to bake them into chocolate chip cookies. So they would be Rolo Bits cookies. I'm devastated. It's frightening to know that I will have this life-long, unfulfilled craving.
I mean, I am 99.99% certain that I will never get to have sex with Bruce Campbell. He's married, I'm married, he lives in another state, he keeps renewing the restraining order. But at least Bruce Campbell exists somewhere in the world. There is always that 0.01% chance that someday, we will be trapped together in the elevator of a burning building, facing certain death, with only desparate, sweaty sex to keep our minds off our impending doom... not that I've given it much thought.
But Rolo Bits cookies? That will never happen. Because they don't exist. There is not even a pathetic 0.01% change that I will ever have Rolo Bits cookies.
That is so depressing.
I'm sorry, world. I did not consume enough Rolo Bits when they were on the market. I could not keep the poppable industry alive. I have failed you.
Comments
and here, I thought I was the only person who missed the slightly chalky, slightly chocolatey, mostly crumbly Carnation Instant Breakfast Bars.....
LOVED Those!!
Posted by: heather at April 22, 2009 11:15 AM
I'm with ya, Wenchie. I miss Royals. Remember them? Mint-flavored M&Ms. Mmmmmm.
-L.
Posted by: Lori at April 22, 2009 12:29 PM