September 14, 2009
An Open Letter To Boss' Colleagues
To Whom It May Concern:
As the sorely-underpaid, temporary administrative assistant to an extremely frenetic man, I feel professionally obligated to inform you of the following:
1. I do not posess the ability to make time magically appear on Boss' calendar. My superpowers are limited to typing at the speed of light and Herculean patience. I cannot, yet, bend the ways of the universe to my whims.
2. If you wish to meet with Boss, you must give me more than a few day's notice. I am currently scheduling for March 2010.
3. If you, a grown-up, miss two deadlines, I am not required to be polite when reminding you of that fact.
4. My job description does not include dialing Boss' phone and holding it up to his ear. If he doesn't return your call, don't imply that I didn't give him your message. That's just a self-fulfilling prophecy waiting to happen.
5. If you are calling from a cell phone in Senegal, write me an email.
6. If you only started speaking English three months ago, write me an email.
7. I really hope, for your safety, that you're not telling me how you like your coffee because you expect me to get it for you.
8. There is a Search feature on our website. Please give it a whirl BEFORE calling me to ask for something.
9. Don't ever thank me "in advance" for something that I may choose NOT to do.
10. I. Am. No. One's. Bitch.
Disrespectfully yours,
Wenchie
Comments
Damn Straight, Girl!
Posted by: heather at September 14, 2009 10:27 AM
I thought you were Heather's bitch.
Posted by: THEASSMAN at September 16, 2009 05:30 PM