September 18, 2009
Halloween Came Early
So I was outside with the dogs a few mornings ago, and it was all cool and half-lit and foggy and quiet. I love mornings like that.
While the dogs found the perfect spot on which to leave their gift of poo, I looked around at the dew-covered garden. The tiny-leafed ivy groundcover; those lace-like white flowers I can't remember the name of; snapdragons, which all bloomed for the second time this summer.
And I noticed that a band of small spiders had left a few tiny, delicate webs on the bushes and flowers, made dazzling and fairy-like by the dew.
And then EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!
Spiders laid a trap for me! They're not supposed to weave huge webs on manmade objects! They're supposed to stick to nature! I can't have bugs encroaching on my patio furniture! It's not like there aren't plenty of twigs and leaves for them to build on! Who do they think they are?!
I hadn't even begun to forgive the spiders when this asshole showed up.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!
ON MY KITCHEN WINDOW! WHAT THE FUCK?!
How the hell did he get so high up?! Aren't grasshoppers supposed to stay in the grass? Hence their name? He's, like, seven feet in the air! Is he even indigenous to this area?!
And this photo is not even life-size. He (she?) was actually bigger than this!
God, nature sucks!