October 28, 2009
Bitches Are On Notice
I have a very low tolerance for bullshit and fabricated drama, and I am quite willing to confront the people who engage in such retardedness and, if necessary, banish them from my life.
This being said, I am not taking off my earrings every time a skank looks at me sideways. I do not look for fights, and I put many, many hours of thought into a situation before deciding to get in anyone's face.
In short, I do not seek out confrontation, but when it finds me, I am ready for it. I am, after all, a Scorpio. BRING IT.
I'll start from the beginning. My predecessor, I'll call her Alfa because she came first, did support work for PhD Boss as well as adding things to our website and sending out an e-newsletter. When I was brought on, she was contracted to continue working on the website and e-news. (No one even asked me if I knew how or could learn. Because temps can't learn or do hard stuff, right?)
On her way out to bigger and better things, she threw a few parting shots in PhD Boss' direction (I know they included the word ignorant), which hurt him very much because he thought they were friends.
Needless to say, things between he and Alfa have been chilly since then. He even went so far as to throw the ignorant comment back in her face, which was probably unprofessional on his part, but whatever. I can't say for certain I wouldn't have done the same thing, so I can't wholeheartedly condemn him for it.
Meanwhile, Alfa was still doing work for us, and I played go-between for she and PhD Boss. Not wanting to cause undo drama, I tried to stay neutral and friendly with both of them. Their tiff doesn't have to involve me, right?
Oh, but if it didn't, I wouldn't be writing this, and you figured that out, my clever minions.
Enter the Executive Administrate Assistant in my department. I'll call her Bea. As in busy as a bee. As in BUSYBODY. She is so fucking special that she doesn't consider herself a mere administrative assistant or staff support, so you know what she must think of me. Monkey on a tricycle!
Bear in mind, also, that I work in a four-person department. So the Head Boss, PhD Boss, Bea and Alfa (with whom I communicate only via email) are the only people around. It would be nice if I had a fellow peon with which to share the trials and tribulations of being support staff, but I don't. I can't share shit with Bea because she thinks my job is soooooo easy compared to hers, and anything I say to her will be broadcast all over the damn building.
For the past several weeks, I have been going back and forth between Alfa and PhD Boss, trying to iron out a renewed contrat so Alfa can keep doing our website and e-news. Really, all it would take is a ten minute phone call between the two, but I couldn't get a straight answer from Alfa about when that would be best for her.
There was definitely some passive aggression going on there, but I was still stunned by her actions yesterday. She sent an email to the HR person who was handling her contract saying:
I received the contract renewal paperwork, dated October 16, 2009, last week. I am writing to regrettably inform you that I will not be renewing my contract. Thank you for your time and attention to this matter. Hope you are doing well, and blessings to you in the future!
Mind you, she did NOT send this to PhD Boss. He had to find out from HR when he was CCed on the reply, "Thank you for the notification."
Holy fucking shit! How rude is that?! I mean, I have given notice to some serious asshats, and I have never handled it that obnoxiously! What a BITCH! And completely unprofessional, to boot, but I'm mainly focused on the bitch aspect of it.
Now, I found out about all this over the phone from PhD Boss yesterday morning because he worked from home. And when he told me, I was floored and reacted quite verbally. I didn't go so far as to call her any names, knowing that Bea is always well within earshot. But to anyone listening to my end of the conversation, there was clearly some outrage and drama going on.
And what could be more interesting to the building's biggest busybody than outrage and drama? Honeynut Cheerios, apparently. Once I got off the phone, instead of coming over and salivatingly pleading for the details of the conversation, as I would expect her to do, she just quietly continued eating her breakfast. Didn't say a word to me. Didn't even look up.
Now is it just me, or is that a little suspicious? Methinks that Bea knew precisely what I was talking to PhD Boss about because she knew well beforehand what was going down. Oh, yes, my friends. While I was carefully trying to retain neutrality, Bea and Alfa were feeding off each other like the parasites they are.
This morning,... wait. As a sidenote and backstory, you should know that PhD Boss has been toying with the idea of replacing the department e-newsletter with a blog. I, of course, am wholeheartedly behind the idea, but that's neither here nor there. Now back to our story.
This morning, PhD Boss sauntered in at his usual time -- two hours after I got here -- and we went into one of the small meeting rooms to talk about things that needed to be done, as we are wont to do. But before we got down to business, we got down to business, IF you know what I mean.
No, we didn't have sex. We had a very bitchy and in depth discussion about Bea and Alfa. I was surprised to learn that, on several occassions, things that PhD Boss had mentioned to Bea had gotten back to him through Alfa! Now, it's one thing to be a gossip; it's quite another to out yourself as such! STUPID!
I was also surprised -- and I don't know why -- that Alfa had once brought up ME in a conversation with PhD Boss. As in, "No TEMP can manage an e-newletter, a website or a blog!" Apparently, they were aruging about how awesome/non-awesome she is? I don't know the context, and I don't particularly care. My issue is this: BITCH DON'T KNOW ME!
There's so many things about that statement that anger me, I am going to have to get all anal-retentive and make a numbered list, as such.
NUMBERED LIST FOR ALFA
1. Don't talk about me when you, LITERALLY, have never even met me. That's a given.
2. Don't talk smack about me to someone who likes me better than they like you. That's just going to backfire on you. A bit of advice.
3. Don't assume that because I am a TEMP that I have no skills beyond typing and filing. I've got fifteen years on you, sweetheart, and I've managed to pick up a thing or two in that time.
4. Your skill set is not so magical and special that you can safely assume that I don't have it. Okay, I don't, but that's not the point. The point is, you don't know me, and lots of people can write basic HTML. Statistically speaking, anyone in this position could very well know enough code to update a website or e-newsletter.
5&TheMostImportant. Okay, I can't build a blog from scratch like Alfa and Heather, but I CAN MANAGE A FUCKING BLOG, YOU COW! Jeebus, half my friends have their own blogs and/or websites! I can even add photos and pop-up links and change around my sidebar! IT AIN'T ROCKET SCIENCE!
And while these are all quite valid enough to be carved in stone, and the tablet hung on a thick, hemp rope around Alfa's next, it all boils down to one thing.
If you're going to talk smack about me, make sure you know what you're talking about. I mean, there's plenty of material there. You can say that I'm stuck-up, or I'm fat, or I'm a closet lesbian, or I'm a self-absorbed blogger geek -- whatever. It's not like I don't have any actual factual quirks. YOU DON' GOTTA BE MAKIN' SHIT UP!
I'm onto you now, Alfa and Bea. Consider yourselves on notice. I will let this particular shit slide because PhD Boss knows I'm awesome, and the only real harm you did was to your own characters. But be warned. If any of your covertly-typed emails do MY character any harm,... I don't even know what. But you can bet it's gonna be BAD!
Comments
I know all about Alfa. She contracted me to play at her wedding then canceled about two weeks before. Bitch!
Posted by: jb at October 28, 2009 09:22 PM
And this fellow Scorpio has SO got your back!!
Posted by: Vicki at October 29, 2009 03:15 PM