October 15, 2009
Yes, I Am, and Here's Why
But, Wenchie, how can you be an evil, rotten, hateful Conservative?! You LOVE the gays!
I do. I do love the gays. And I would love to be the ring bearer at Joe's wedding some day. Which is why I actively support gay rights in my personal life.
But voting Republican is so much more than that. It's about guns.
You guys, I can't run to the corner. I can't throw a ball more than four feet. I can't catch a ball before it hits me in the face. I can't ski, jump, kick, hurdle, NOTHING. I can't even do a decent summersault.
But I can SHOOT. My Dad gave me a BB gun when I was ten, and I was Annie Friggin' Oakley coming outta the gate! The neighborhood boys and I would line up empty beer cans on a log. I'd start shooting from one end; one of the boys would start from the other. Invariably, I would knock off seven or eight cans before they got through TWO. For a ten year old tomboy, there is no better high than having bragging rights like that!
I grew up with guns. My Dad has one hidden in every room of the house -- just in case. I can't be anti-gun because, if someone broke into my house, I would shoot them in the face. Well, if they were attacking one of my step daughters, I'd shoot them in the face. If they were just taking my t.v., I'd be nice and shoot them in the knee.
And then there's the racism thing. We all know how often I am accidentally racist. And purposely racist, when it comes to the French. I don't think the Democrat party would have me! (Which reminds me -- have you seen the trailer for the new Chris Rock movie, "Good Hair"? OMG! That is at the TOP of the Wenchie Must See While Sober list!)
And then there's the other big issues -- like People and Children. I don't like either. I think that Al Gore, in particular, is a giant douchebag. You can have my SUV when you pry the steering wheel from my cold, dead hands. We routinely haul lots of big stuff! So there!
And while you've got your hate on, please remember to direct some towards Heather, the Liberal who hates nature and burns empty plastic water bottles to heat her bath every night.
Comments
I think you are confused. Hating black people is racism, hating the french is patriotism.
Posted by: THEASSMAN at October 15, 2009 03:28 PM
Oh, Wenchie, I forgive you for being conservative. At least you have legit. reasons for being that way.
Although I'm a left-wing lunatic, I believe in the right to keep and bear arms. I refuse to keep them myself, but I support you and your family's right to do so.
Hugs,
-L.
Posted by: Lori at October 16, 2009 12:12 PM