December 31, 2009
A Wench-trospective
So. Let's see how well I did with my 2009 resolutions, and then judge me harshly so the rest of you can all feel superior. What fun!
1. Call my Mom more often, just to make sure she isn't trapped under a pile of Dad's crap. Well, I sucked at this for most of the year, but I've gotten better lately... mainly because I HAVE to call her every other day to see if they're both lying with broken hips in the driveway.
2009 is officially known as The Year of Dad's Grabber, so he's not allowed to touch a snow shovel anymore. Nor is Mom, not that she listens.
Yes, Mommie Dearest, I'm lookin' at you! If you want me to keep calling come spring time, you'd better do as you're told! (I'm pretty sure that resolutions should not include threats and ultimatums, but you don't know this woman! I will handle this!)
2. Keep in touch with my friends better, and not just via Facebook SuperPoke. "Poking" someone or commenting on their status is not the same as calling or even emailing or texting them. So easy to fall back on FB to do all my work for me.
I did have breakfast with Egrau TWICE in the past two months, and I even drove out to North Aurora to see Lola... once. Yeah, I suck. FaceBook is an introvert's wet dream. I'm workin' on it, people!
3. Remember that Husband lets me work part-time so that I can better take care of our affairs while he's working 60 hours a week, so I'd better get off my ass more often and vacuum up all this dog hair. Ahhh, remember the good ol' days when I didn't work? Ha. Yeah. Well. THAT little arrangement has gone the way of the cassette tape.
Thanks to the recession, I went back to whoring fulltime. The dogs are gonna have to vacuum up their own damn hair, and Husband is gonna have to put away his own damn laundry. This resolution requires modification.
4. Get back down to my wedding weight (and bring Husband with me). BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA *huge intake of air* HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Actually, Husband is doing quite well, ever since he started taking the Metra downtown and walking a mile between the train and work. I'm going to have to start slipping more butter into his food...
5. Turn 40 gracefully and with a HUGE FREAKIN' PARTY. Done and done! I rocked The Paradise, The Casbash AND This Town! So now I need a new #5.
6. Blog every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, even if it's just a paragraph or photo. Pffft. It's more realistic to just lower my standards. And ask you to lower yours. Again, this resolution was created back in the dreamy Me No Work phase of my life.
7. Start writing my damn book already. What the hell am I waiting for?! I'm waiting for everyone in my family to die so that I can write about them without them getting mad at me. Hmmm, I'd better start taking better care of myself if I expect to outlive all these assholes...
8. Print all my photos and get them into albums, regardless of how many people mock me for my old-fashionedness. I have since discovered boxes of photographs that I'd forgotten I had. This goal needs to be altered. It's good to be versitile, right?
9. Start playing piano again, before arthitis starts to set in. Well, I haven't started playing again, but neither has arthritis started to set in. So let's call this one a wash.
10. Take my bucket o' change to the bank and open a savings account for our 2010 trip to Norway. Well, I started the year with $18.99 in our Norway account, which wouldn't even cover the Xanax I'm going to need in order to fly over the Atlantic.
Then the market crashed, and our Norway Account became our Big Screen T.V. Account. Had to set our sights a little lower. Just made another deposit from the change jar, and we're up to nearly a grand! Soon, we'll be watching a documentary on Norway on a 55" screen!
Comments
Instead of photo albums, I recommend photo boxes. Much quicker and easier.
Posted by: Lori at January 4, 2010 12:55 PM