May 06, 2010
The Basis of Work Friendships
Recently, at an all-staff meeting at work, I was invited to sit with the cool girls when an older, VERY-out lesbian waved me over to an empty chair next to her shouting, "Come sit in the gay section!"
On that particular day, "the gay section" was made up of three women: one of whom I know well, one I know a little bit, and one I don't know at all. Kind of like Goldilocks and the Three Dykes. (I don't know where all the gay men were sitting. Perhaps in the Snow Hag and the Seven Fags section?)
So I sat next to Gretchen -- the one who called me over, the one I only know kinda-sorta -- and as the presentations wore on, our running commentary became increasingly unprofessional. How nice to discover a kindred spirit, snarky and jaded.
At one point, her disdain became very specific, towards a member of the H.R. department (my sworn enemy, as you know).
But then she stopped herself mid-sentence and said, "Hmm. We need to find out if we hate the same people."
After I stopped laughing, I thought, How sweet. She doesn't want to offend me by talking smack about someone who might be a friend of mine.
And then I realized, Bitch, please. She just doesn't want me narc-ing on her to someone who might be a friend of mine.
But what really struck me was the bare-bones truth of that statement. For isn't that pretty much what all work-friendships are based on -- hating the same people? At least initially. Think about it. When you start a job, people are pretty nice.
But then, as they get used to you, their real personalities come out, until you are forced to look around and find the one person to whom you can whisper conspiratorially, "Jeebus E. Cheese, these people are the candy in the big piñata of crazy!"
Indeed, perhaps Gretchen and I should have lunch and reconcile our enemies lists...
Comments
It's the old "If you don't have anything nice to say....come sit next to me"
Story of my life.
I heart Gretchen.
but not as much as I heart Wenchie
Posted by: Vicki at May 6, 2010 11:43 AM
I like to keep it even simpler--hate all people at work until I have a good reason to change my mind.
Posted by: JB at May 6, 2010 07:47 PM