June 09, 2010
No Really, I Really Am an Idiot
I know I have expounded on my own idiocy before, but I reeeeeeeally stepped in it this time. I'm sick to my stomach just thinking about it.
Soon after getting into work this morning, my phone rang, and it was H.R. Troll #2 (HRT2). She asked if I could come to her office for a minute.
Immediately, my blood pressure rose, and I popped up to whimper fearfully to the woman in the cube next to me, "HRT2 wants to see me in her office! She's gonna tell me I have no chance of getting the job!"
"Calm down. She's just going to ask you if PhD Boss and Head Boss know you applied, so she knows if she needs to be secret or not."
Well, she's applied to, like, five other positions in the past year, so I figure she must know the routine. (Oh, she's a white woman in her 50s. Why do you ask?)
So I went over to HRT2's office, and she handed me my application form. The one I had filled out two weeks prior.
Backstory on the application form: After spending an entire weekend having everyone I know check my resume and cover letter for mistakes and awesomeness, those two documents could single-handedly get me elected Benevolent Dictator for Life. After turning them in to H.R., I was informed that I also had to fill out an application form. Like I wanted to flip burgers or something. And it was basically asking for all the information that was ON MY RESUME, but I had to fill it out anyway. So I did. Quickly.
Anyhoo, we then had this conversation:
HRT2: Tell me what's wrong on your application.
PW: Um... [searching] Hmm... [panicking] Should I not have put my home email?
HRT2: The UNIT!
And there it was. Instead of putting the name of the unit that I was applying to, I put the name of the unit I'm currently in.
Big fucking faux pas, right? Jeez, it's not like I put Security or Accounting or something equally unlikely. I was filling it out quickly and misunderstood it. The resume and the cover letter is what you should be scrutinizing, bitch! Who cares about some redundant, bureaucratic form?!
Oh, but it wasn't about the form, was it, my friends? No. It was about subtley letting me know that I am not the person for this job, as far as she's concerned.
In fact, she actually said to me, "You know, they're going to be looking for someone who's on top of things."
And I was so flustered and angry with myself for giving that bitch such an OPENING, that I didn't come back with what I should have said -- "Yeah, well, I think the time I spent with them convinced them that I'm pretty on top of things, which is why they asked me back. Twice."
But we never think of these comebacks when we need them, do we, my darlings? No. We do not. I'm just not quick on my feet when I'm so emotionally invested in something.
So I changed the application and returned it to her. She acted like she had done me some huge favor, even telling me that I now owe her one. Riiiiiiiiight. As far as karma goes, that hag owes me a unicorn with a rainbow mane and butterscotch-scented manure.
I am feeling so completely defeated. I just handed it to her. I handed her a heaping helping of my own stupidity on a silver platter. And then she carried the stack of applications up to the department I covet. It was a pretty thick stack.
Comments
i like butterscotch scented manure!
Posted by: Stacey at June 9, 2010 09:26 PM
Dude, you know she is only jealous of your awesome power - of which she can only whif from a distance. The folks who really value your skills will over-ride her. ...Also, nicely executed butterscotch manure.
Posted by: Herc at June 10, 2010 03:20 PM