June 07, 2010
Options, In No Particular Order
For the past few weeks, I've been struggling. Struggling to sleep, struggling to focus on the task at hand, struggling with too many choices. Employment choices, to be exact. The next few weeks to months will mean changes in how I make money, if I make any.
There are so many ways this all could play out, it's overwhelming, but I can't tolerate the thought of just letting it all work itself out. I want to be in charge of my own life, but there are so many decisions that fall to other people. The control freak in me is slamming her head against the wall.
[I trust that the handfull of people whom I work with and who read this blog will keep my secrets.]
Option #1: My Current Job
My contract ends August 31, less than three months away, and it's unclear whether or not it will be renewed. I know Head Boss wants to keep me, as do PhD Boss and Alpha (the Sr. Admin.), but I'm sure that the trolls in H.R. have other ideas. Since I am neither a Person of Color, nor a Youth, nor a member of the Boys Club, I am pretty much a leper.
Option #2: The Recently Applied For Position (RAFP)
I recently applied for another position in the company I'm with now. Higher level, better pay, and PERMANANT. The job is made for me, really. Because of downsizing, it's a combination of three positions, all of which I've actually done before, in my intra-company travels as a temp. I'm currently waiting for an initial interview.
However -- and there's always a however with these people -- as much as the people I'd be working for/with would LOVELOVELOVE to see me get the RAFP, I know that, as a 40 year old white woman, I am basically invisible to H.R., specifically in terms of any promotion. Also? If I do get the RAFP, I will be offered crap pay, for the usual reasons -- skin color, gender, age.
(My working title for this post was "Why Being a 40-Year Old White Woman Is the Kiss of Death.")
Option #3: Possible Other Position (POP)
There is a possible second job within the company, the one that will be vacated when JB skips town. However, that department is currently undergoing yet another "re-structuring" (i.e. scramble to make sure all responsibilities are covered despite the hemorraging of employees). I have been approached by JB's boss, whom I've temped for, and sure, I'd be interested! ... If everything else falls through. See, there probably won't be a pay increase, and it may even be just parttime. Which is better than NO time, obviously, so I will keep this iron in the fire.
Option #4: The New Venture
This option is highly-classified-top-secret, so of COURSE I'm blogging about it on the worldwide internets. PhD Boss may be leaving to start a new venture, which isn't exactly illegal, so I don't know why it's a big, hairy secret. It's a pretty exciting venture, and he wants me in on it, as their support person. Seven to ten hours a week, at first, working up to fulltime within a year to eighteen months. There's just so much unknown and so much to finesse with this one. It's a huge honor, considering the brilliant people I'd be working for/with, but right now, it's just a giant question mark.
Option #5: Unemployment
This isn't much of an option, although it may be an unavoidable eventuality. It is quite possible that options one through four all fall through. And then I'll be stuck begging for odd jobs and going on *gulp* INTERVIEWS. Have I mentioned that I've never, ever interviewed? Yeah. My jobs have always just falled into my lap. I have no idea how to interview, and I can't help but feel that relying on my quick wit and charm is a really bad idea.
Option #6: Ridiculous Idea
I've often wondered if people would PAY me to run their errands for them...