September 16, 2010
The Apologetics of Not Working
Okay, I don't know what that title means, but I didn't write it, so don't blame me. You know what I'm getting at?
GUEST BLOGGER!
I could introduce her here and blah blah blah about how awesome she is and why I adore her and why she's guesting on my blog, but she does that very well herself, so I'll just shut up now.
Hello, masses. This is JB filling in for Wenchie who is actually around to post, but asked me to since the husband is on a business trip this week and I have nothing pressing to do. Occasionally I have been mentioned by the Wench before -- usually in relationship to the big house of religious politics where Wenchie and I, till recently, worked.
Last month, I made the move from there, situated in the third largest metropolitan area in the country, to the state with the third smallest population. I can hear you asking why in the world a person would ever choose to do this. The answer is, of course, money (oh, and being “called” and other religious crap like that). Not that we make much money, but the husband’s new job comes with insurance, pension plan, mileage, a huge house (5 bedrooms and 3 full bathrooms!), lots of food, and other less tangible benefits. So now that the husband is finally working, I’m left unpacking and unemployed. But not complaining! I love not working, and definitely recommend it if you can afford to do it.
Now at this point, some have asked “Won’t that get boring after a while -- no job [read in: ‘no purpose in life’] and not seeing other people for long periods of time?” I think they greatly underestimate my ability to do nothing. For the years that the husband was in grad school, I simultaneously worked a full-time job, a part-time job, another part-time job called commuting (3 hours a day), and yet another part-time job I called housework. In that time, I saw enough people and did enough work to last me a few extra years. Plus I think getting purpose in life from doing a job is really overrated.
So here are a few of my favorite things about unemployment, in no particular order:
1. The obvious: ignoring my alarm clock. It’s the appliance/decoration we all love to hate and for years it woke me up at 5-fricken-30 in the morning! Sometimes I think the sound has driven me to insanity. My kitchen timer is sort of similar, and I cringe and yell at it every time it goes off. Fortunately this month I have began alarm clock deprivation therapy. It may cure me of my great dislike of the sound... maybe.
2. Lacking real pressure and stress. Before I would have worried about losing my job during layoffs, feared picking up the phone at work because of angry callers waiting to bitch at me for some thing I didn’t do, or dodged being hit by cars during my commute. My idea of pressure now is my cat meowing incessantly at me to play fetch with him. Now stress is trying to finish a Netflix disk before the mail is picked up. Not exactly world-ending, or even life-destroying, stuff here. I can even procrastinate and still have plenty of time. Sweet!
3. Not seeing people. It’s no secret to my friends that I am not really a people person, but to lots of others it is a great shock. I actually get along with people just fine, but there is a difference between getting along with them and liking them. In fact there is an ongoing joke that my friends are really non-people -- a high compliment in my vocabulary. They have progressed beyond the masses of people out there to be someone who I can tell the truth to, wear pajamas around without embarrassment, and sit in comfortable silences with. For this, non-person status is conferred. Being at home by myself gives me ample opportunities to not interact with “people”. I can still call, text, e-mail and video chat the non-persons in my life while weeding out those I’d rather not talk with on a regular basis.
4. Having time to do the things I really love. And no, I’m not talking about “Now that I have the time, I’m going to learn the Czech language and napkin folding, practice yodeling, and take up genealogy like I always wanted to.” That kind of perky crap will only make you feel less accomplished. You know very well that if you never found time to do it before, you won’t find time to do it now even though you have all the time in the world. No! I’m talking about doing more of the stuff I always loved to do, the kind of stuff I did to procrastinate, the things I didn’t have time to properly obsess over before. For me this means TV watching and baking, often at the same time. That’s right: this week I have watched Roar (90s period action show), Roswell (like Twilight with aliens), Wizards of Waverly Place (yes, a Disney kids show), Star Trek: The Animated Series (bet you didn’t even know this existed, did ya?), Blood Ties (vampires and other supernatural stuff), Smallville (young, hot Superman) and a bunch of other shows. (You should be sensing a theme by this point). At the same time I’ve made Chex mix, rosemary foccacia, salami calzones, spiced beef turnovers, vegetable soup, lemon blueberry scones, baked potato chips, and hopefully chocolate whoopie pies today. Now who honestly would say that they would rather work than do that?!
5. Talking to myself whenever I want without judgement. I don’t know about you, but I like to talk through ideas, problems, and to-do lists out loud. It’s just not as effective to think it though or write it out. But at the same time, I also hate to bother someone with my half-considered ramblings. So what’s a person to do on the job? Annoy co-workers with muttering to one’s self or ill-conceived brainstorming sessions they would prefer not to be a part of? Well, my solution is simple: stay at home. When you’re not around others, you can talk to yourself whenever you want, and the only person to piss off (or think you are crazy) is yourself. I suspect that after a couple of months of this, being in public may be challenging, but I trust the husband and friends can keep me from descending into a complete anti-social wreck.
Oh sure, this existence will likely become tiresome after a while, but here’s to hoping that is many months off. Cheers!
Be sure to watch here soon for a link to my new blog (which Wenchie and Padawan are basically forcing me to write). I plan to cover the weirdness that is life in a town of 300 people, my ever-so-unexciting hobbies, being a non-traditional spouse to a pastor, and other general bitchiness and/or insanity. Any suggestions on names for this Frankenstein of a blog?
Yeah, this list may as well have been called Reasons Why Wenchie Loves JB.
So if you're reading this, and your church just got a new pastor, and he's a guy, and he's married to a female, it's time for you to wonder in horror, "Oh, sweet Jeebus in Platform Shoes, is Wenchie's people-hating, anti-social friend my pastor's wife???"
MWAH HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Comments
I've loved being unemployed for most of my marriage for many of the same reasons you listed. My thing-I-love is reading, which brings me to the next item:
The shout-out to Blood Ties. AWESOME show. Have you read the books by Tanya Huff that they're based on? There are five, plus a collection of short stories.
Posted by: Kes at September 17, 2010 08:13 AM
Thanks for the tip. I haven't read the books before, but I enjoyed the show enough that I think I will try to read them sometime soon. If you like the genre, also look at Moonlight. It is VERY similar: not as soapy as True Blood, not as ass-kicking as Buffy, not as dramatic as Vampire Diaries.
Posted by: JB at September 21, 2010 09:13 AM