November 29, 2010
What, No Hooka-Smoking Catapillar?
Oh, Anthropologie. I know you were going for a whimsical, dark carnival, through-the-looking-glass type of vibe in your latest catalogue.
However, I can assure you that I have never daydreamed of demonic children riding giant rabbits. I mean, what is that? A fond -- if somewhat distorted -- childhood memory? A sexual fantasy? Something she'd like to have for dinner? What?
And speaking of dinner...
Chickens, in real life, are nasty, horrible creatures. We non-vegetarians are doing the world a favor by eating them. I don't ever want to see one this big. It's not fanciful; it's disturbing.
Seriously. Get the goddamn chicken off my two hundred dollar purse.
And what's with this poor guy?
Like he doesn't have enough to carry around?
Oh, sure, the big, strong mammal gets the easy photo shoot.
Actually, I kind of love this. Miss Llama is rockin' her ethnic necklaces, Tyra, she is FIERCE!
But even more than the llama lloves her llavalliere, I llove this:
I am totally redecorating my living room exactly like this, complete with live owl. Good thing Christmas is coming! I'm going to need three of these six hundred dollar lamps! Don't worry -- I believe that Anthropologie does lay-aways. I know how disappointed you'd be if you couldn't give me my heart's desire!
As disappointed as this sheep seems to be, to be wearing boots. Disappointed, and a bit perplexed. With a twenty percent chance of annoyed.
Bundle up, other barnyard animals! There's a stormfront moving in!
Oh. You're already prepared.
Check out the look on this dogs face:
He's like, "I have five fucking pieces of silverware and no opposable thumbs! You think this is funny?!"
P.S. Anthropologie, would you please send me the name of the woman who owns the lifestyle for which these boots are aptly suited?
I wish to join her Fan Club. Thank you.
Comments
OMG, Wenchie, this is PRICELESS!
I am laughing so hard.....seriously, I think the advertising/marketing exec's at Anthropologie deserve to see this catalog tank. I mean, come on! The pigs with scarves? A huge chicken with netting all over it, on a leash?
It's like the stuff of nightmares.
Posted by: Diane Schmidt at November 29, 2010 08:54 AM
I wish this catalog had been available in the 70's when I was smoking pot and doing acid. However, it would have still come in second behind Jim and Tammy Fay. But what's scary is someone at Anthropologie thinks there're people that will get this magazine and buy there stuff as a result. Who rushs to buy bonnetts that look good on pigs? Everyone would see you wearing these and say "she bought a Anthropologie pig bonnett!". WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? I would love to sit down with them and use the pics to do a rorshach test.
Posted by: Daddy Escape at December 6, 2010 09:38 AM
I MUST HAVE the piggies. Seriously. I'd like all three.
Posted by: Hope at December 7, 2010 04:48 PM
I want a baby piggie for a pet! But only if it'll stay small enough to fit in my purse. Accessory piglet!
Posted by: Wenchie at December 7, 2010 09:02 PM