December 21, 2010
Seasonal Tasting Trio
For my next job (God willing and the creek don't rise), I want to work at a FOR-profit company. No more of this bullshit workin-fer-Jeebus crap. I want PERKS, man! PERKS! Perks like Husband has, working at his fancy new job, getting showered with money and bonuses and awesome food and GOING TO THE FOUR SEASONS FOR THEIR COMPANY CHRISTMAS PARTY!!!
Okay, I managed to put away my Green Monster Face for that last one because spouses were invited to partake. And did I ever! Here is the menu, typed verbatim.
* * * * *
Appetizers
Ginger Grilled Cocktail Shrimp with Thai Dipping Sauce
Lobster "BLT" - Lobster Salad encased in Peppered Profitterole
Curry Chicken Salad on a Crispy Pappadam
Brie en Croute with Apricot Sauce
Sesame Chicken Strips with Teriyaki Sauce
Peppered Sirloin of Beef on Roasted Garlic-Rosemary Ficelle with Bernaise Sauce
Now, there are at least two words in there that I don't know -- Pappadam and Ficelle. And although I know what a Profitterole is, I couldn't pronounce it to save my life. Luckily, pronunciation is not a prerequisite for stuffing one's face. I had so much brie, I'm surprised I was able to poop at all that week.
Dinner
Carnaroli Risotto with English Peas, Lemon, Dried Tiny Tomatoes, Marcasrpone Cheese, Reggiano Cheese Crisp
Cripes! That's two more words I don't know, just in the entrée! Carnaroli? Reggiano? But that didn't bother me -- they were still delicious. What does bother me is Risotto. Is it a pasta? Rice? Tapioca? Some kind of hybrid of the three? And why is it so hip and popular? It tastes like, well... pastaricetapioca. Bleh. Luckily, all the fancy crap they added to it made it quite delicious.
Young Spinach Salad, Shaved Breakfast Radish, Wedge of Camembert and Candied Walnuts with Walnut Oil-Honey Vinaigrette
Okay. I will buy English as an accepted adjective for Peas, and Young for Spinach, but c'mon, people. We have to draw the line somewhere. I can accept peas imported from England. I will even let Young slide, even though serving Old spinach is so ridiculous that letting the diner know that their spinach is Young should really go without saying. But Breakfast Radish? Really? Breakfast Radish? What the hell is that?! Who eats radishes for breakfast, and how could they possibly be any different than the ones you eat for lunch or dinner?! "Oh, I couldn't possibly eat THAT radish -- it's after noon!" I gotta call bullshit on that one.
Sliced Roast Tenderloin of Beef, Cabernet Wine Reduction
OR
Lemon Thyme Striped Bass, Champagne Chive Reduction
Needless to say, I had the beef. Because fish is gross, I don't care how much Champagne you pour on it. The beef was three inches thick, and you could cut it with a fork. The kind of beef that would make a vegetarian denounce his vows and start wringing the necks of cows with his bare hands! When Husband wasn't looking, I whispered sweet nothings to my tenderloin, telling it how majestic and manly and desirable it was, and how I loved it above all things.
Anna Potatoes and Grilled Asparagus
Now, I don't know who the hell Anna is, but her potatoes are out of this world. And that's not even a euphemism for anything -- I am dead serious. I can only assume that Anna is dead from eating her butter-laden potatoes, and I hope that she is buried in Westminster Abbey.
Dessert
Seasonal Tasting Trio:
Pumpkin Cheesecake
Mini Chocolate Pudding Cake
Apple Cranberry Crisp
Oh, heavenly day! See, this wasn't a choice of desserts. The waiter didn't come around to ask us which one we wanted. No, no, no. We were brought all three! No decision to be made! And no judgment, either! We were expected -- nay, encouraged to eat them ALL!
And what did my fantabulous place of employment provide us with during this season of festive activities? Well, we got a pulled pork sammich buffet in the cafeteria and a bunch of spin-centric emails telling us that we're all much happier now that 65 of our friends and co-workers have been shown the door. Yay.
Comments
at least you got something, we didn't even get pulled pork *gigglesnort* anything. no lunch for us! crack the whip! WORK HARDER, YOU PEONS!
;)
Posted by: celticelff at December 21, 2010 11:14 AM