January 24, 2011
The Bushas & the Beasts
Now, maybe it's because I have a weird sense of humor, or maybe it's because my Mother was born with a wicked streak that was just never properly cultivated, but My Mother has always been the most unintentionally hilarious person I know.
Growing up, she'd say something that would crack me up, and then she would roll her eyes and say, completely deadpan, "Wenchie, I was put on this earth to amuse you."
Hence this missive from her earlier this month, as I neared my final day of enslavement:
I was thrilled to hear that you'd be among the "retired" people in a very short time. I am having a glorious time planning things for us to do.First, we will have to brave the frigid temperatures and take leisurely stroll through the park and see how much"nature" we can see. Birds, bugs, etc. and we can make a list to talk about later.
I'm sure we'll also run into some Bushas with their cute, little grandbabies, wrapped in 6 blankets and with 4 scarves around their skinny necks. We can't converse with them, but we shall all smile weirdly. If it is above freezing, we can bring a picnic lunch and knock the ice off the tables and sit back and watch the wonders around us.
Maybe there will be some interesting movies playing in town, but nothing with swear words -- cause you know how I feel about that.
I have to lots spare time lately, still convalescing from having a section of my body replaced. If I don't hear from you before the spring, I shall conclude that this is not quite up-your-alley.
Love to the Husband and the Beasts, Mommie Dearest
Yeah, nothing with swear words because you know how she feels about that! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! And yet, she reads my blog!
My favorite part is about the Bushas, which is perhaps Polish for grandma, or maybe she just made it up. "We shall all smile weirdly." BWAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
(By the way, the section of Mom's body that was replaced was her shoulder. She's got a six-inch scar, so she is a total badass now. Also? She's a CYBORG! Husband's ex-mother-in-law, whom he remains close to, recently broke her femur and had a metal plate put in to reinforce the break. This is in addition to the metal rod she already had in her arm. I pitched a reality t.v. show to Husband called "Battling Bionic Bushas," starring Mom and his former M.I.L., but he thought it might be in poor taste.)
Anyhoo, I wrote back to her:
Oh my gosh! I almost peed myself reading this! You are hilarious! You KNOW this is going in my blog, Mom! I can't stop laughing! Can we also go to the Pancake House and sit in a booth for three hours, drinking coffee and complaining about the government, and then leave a crappy tip?
Her reply:
I was so glad to hear from you. You do remember that I always told you girls that I was put on this earth to make you laugh, so I hope I can continue to do that for many years to come.I don't think we can go to the Pancake House and talk about government cause I'm not exactly sure what that is. But a raspberry scone and some flavored coffee will do just fine.
Love to All. Mommie Dearest
By "Love to All," I can only assume she meant YOU, beloved readers. Mark this date on the calendar: Mom addresses her public for the first time!
Comments
"Busha" is probably short for "babushka", which is both Russian and Polish for "little old lady". The word was also absorbed into English to mean the shawl that little old ladies wrap around themselves. (Though we emphasize the second syllable, and the Russians at least emphasize the first.)
-soD
Posted by: some_other_dave at January 24, 2011 11:37 AM