August 30, 2011
A Plan for Implementation
Meanwhile, back at work, we are still "living into the new design," i.e. figuring out what the hell we're doing with forty percent of the workforce gone and the other sixty percent doing jobs slightly or very different than they did before.
In their attempt to placate us into thinking that our -- the little peoples' -- opinions matter, the Uppermost Echelon (UME) has decided to poll us on what we think of their lofty, incomprehensible vision for the organization's future.
Which is fine. I think it's cute that they humor us, and I'm happy to humor them right back by giving them a big ol' thumbs-up and saying, "Awesome ideas! Keep up the good work!"
Only, this time... this time, I actually have an opinion. Nay, not just an opinion, little minions, but an IDEA. I know! Can you believe that my no-college-degree-havin' brain actually came up with an IDEA?! And not just an idea, but a plan for implementation, goals, and measures! Holy crap, somebody stop me before I cure cancer!
So I carefully crafted a brief yet intellegent proposal for my idea. I made sure I used UME language, talked about "measureable goals," and made all of my sentences decisive statements, starting none of them with "I think" or "I believe."
I have no idea what I actually said, but I can assure you, it was brilliant. And it summed up my thought that our organization's support staff is a wealth of information and potential, and we need a group to tap all that awesomeness and turn it into cross-training, information-sharing, best practices, and other such admirable results.
I mean, c'mon, UME has their own secret club. Second level managers have their ocassional meetings. Why has it occurred to no one to let support staff be supported and supportive?! (I kind of think that they are scared to let us assemble, not knowing what we might do with our newly-found, collective power!)
Anyhoo, I sent my inspiring, ambitious email -- as instructed -- to the consultant employed by the organization to help us figure out what the hell we're doing, and to Vy, my boss. In return, I got the perfunctory thank-you-for-your-input emails.
Which was a little disappointing. I mean, I did kind of expect Vy to come running out of her office and laud me for showing such brave and daring initiative. But she is probably saving her speech for a more formal ocassion, like my congratulatory dinner or something.
So that was last week. Since then, I've been making a little fantasy football team in my head of who would be the best people for my (as of yet) imaginary task force. And it ocurred to me -- you know who would be awesome at leading this group? ME! I have the ideas! I have the ability to motive people to contribute and get them to work together as a team! I play well with others and don't eat paste!
In my new bible, a book entitled "Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office," I learned that one of the reasons that women don't get as much money/respect/benefits/prestige as men is that we don't ask for it. So, I got the notion into my tiny, peon brain that I should ask for what I want, for what I know I could do.
This afternoon, I resent my original idea-email along with this P.S. at the top:
Should the UME decide to implement my suggested plan, I wish to be considered for convener or co-convener of the group.
Haaaaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha ha! Do you believe the balls on this broad?! I am so proud of myself! This may not seem like much of an event to most of you, but to someone used to being "just a waitress/nanny/secretary" for most of my life, showing initiative and openly asking for the UME's trust is a huge, steaming deal! I'm learning to go after the things I want in a corporate setting! Who am I???
And then I got this response from the consultant: "Very cheeky, Wenchie!"
Well, I about burst out in tears right there at my desk. Admonished for being impudent! During my moment of possible glory!
SHIT! Did I overstep my bounds? I wondered. Am I way out of line? Am I being pushy, disrespectful or insubordinate?
You see what kind of ridiculous tailspin being a peon for twenty years has made me prone to? It's disgusting. Besides, who is she to call me insolant? Who is she to smack me down for daring to reach just one tiny finger out of my mud hole? This is why women still struggle so hard in the workplace -- because we don't mentor each other!!!
I wrote back, "Is cheeky good or bad? Because my only exposure to the word comes from Mary Poppins and Monty Python."
She replied, "It's good! I was being friendly! Nothing like those!"
Huge, weather-changing sigh of relief. And I'm glad I asked. She's from Australia, so we do often find ourselves asking each other to define certain words -- her, her Australian lingo; and me, American lingo. I guess, being from the opposite hemisphere as Mary Poppins, cheeky mean bold and saucy! Like a good BBQ -- or as she'd call it, a barbie!
Comments
Ahh, Wenchie. Once again you help me make my sanity checks. Your humor alone gives me pluses.
My head is ready to explode at the Day Job because I think the Evil Overlords are trying to drive us insane. Thank you once again for sparing the lives of my co-workers (well, you and the fact that I refuse to own a gun).
Smile,
-L.
Posted by: Lori at August 30, 2011 12:05 PM